Chapter Twenty-Two

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Y'all can already go ahead and hate me 🙄🤚🏾

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March 10th, 2012
Quantico, Virginia
FBI Academy, 6th Floor
BAU Bullpen

Hotch called us in for a meeting, nothing that would keep us all day. It was a Saturday after all. Pen and Derek brought donuts in, so we all sat around the conference room waiting on Hotch and Emily to walk in. I stared at the seat that she always sits in, we kinda have unassigned seats but we each know who sits where. I was still trying to regain my memory, Spence has been trying to help.

"Good morning everyone, thank you for coming in." Hotch said coming into the room, closing the door. I looked around for Emily but I didn't see her.

"What's going on?" Derek asked. Hotch crossed his arms across his chest and sighed.

"On March 7th, at 10 o'clock at night, I got an email. That email contained Emily's resignation letter, effective immediately. She didn't say anything about where she was going or what she was going to be doing. I went by her place this morning and she is no longer there. She has asked us not to contact her until she's ready.." I sat there not knowing how to feel.

I felt sad.. I felt confused and I felt responsible for her leaving.

"We just got her back.." Spence said. I looked over at him and my heart broke.

"I know we did, just take a few days off and come back on Tuesday ready to work, please. JJ can I see you in my office?"

"Uh, yes" I get up and follow him after the meeting is over. Reid waits on me in the bullpen.

"What's up?" I ask, closing the door behind me. I take a seat in one of his chairs.

"How are you feeling?" He starts off by asking.

"Confused.. Lost. I don't know what to do. Everything is Emily now.. I just.. I want to remember but I can't."

"That's understandable. Just give Emily time.. I'm not saying that you need to disregard your own health but it's going to take a minute for Emily to come back around. Give her time, you focus on yourself and getting yourself back in shape. We will be here waiting for you."

"Thank you Hotch. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, what's up?"

"D-did I love Emily..? I know everyone else is scared to talk to me about her but I want to know.."

"You love Emily. I've never seen y'all happier. Your parents love her and her parents love you. It was my fault for what happened to Emily. She didn't want to go into hiding but Dave and I kinda forced it on her. So.. If and when you see her, whether you have regained your memory or not, don't be hard on her.."

"And she didn't say where she was going..?" I questioned.

"No, she did not." I nodded sadly. A part of me wants to see her and another part of me is still skeptical that I'm not dead and that this is how my afterlife is going.

"Okay.. When do I get to come back?"

"Whenever the doctor can clear you for duty. We want your memory to come back even though much hasn't changed other than the Emily situation. You're at least gonna be out for a month or two. We have found a pretty good psychologist, Garcia recommended her. Are you willing to speak with her?"

"Sure"

"Okay, good." He reaches in his desk and pulls out a business card, handing it to me. Dr. Tara Lewis, Forensic Psychologist.

"Give her a call, she's waiting on you. Go home and get some rest, I'll check on you in a few days. If you need anything, give any of us a call okay?"

"Okay.. Thank you Hotch" he gets up and comes around his desk, I stand up and he pulls me into a hug.

"Everything is going to be okay. Just stay focused on yourself and Emily will come around.. Give her time." I pull away and leave his office, meeting Spence in the bullpen so we can head back to my place.

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I sat on my balcony sipping some wine with a cigarette between my fingers. I took in the fresh air as I sat there. Looking out over the landscape I was being blessed with right now. I know I shouldn't have left but I needed to get away. I didn't take time to myself when I got back from the dead. I was always taking care of others when I needed to care for myself too.

So, I turned in my resignation letter, packed some bags and booked a flight to Aspen. I was able to find a nice apartment overlooking the Elk Camp gondola in Snowmass Base Village.

I've been here since Thursday night. I had turned off all my electronics so nobody could contact me. I just needed time. The only person that knew where I was, was my mom and that's because I called her to get this apartment as is.

I sigh and put my cigarette out and stand up, going inside. I head to my room and grab my carry on bag, I grab my MacBook and go back outside. I power it on and wait for it to start up as I finish my wine off, I pour another glass as soon as I place it down.

My laptop starts dinging with messages from the team, wondering where I am. I go to close it when I spot a message from someone I wasn't expecting to hear from.

"Hey, uh.. Hotch told us that you resigned. I hope you're okay, I know you're hurting and I'm sorry that I can't be there for you. Hotch gave me a number to a psychologist to visit. I'm staying with Spence for a few days, he doesn't want me alone. But, uh.. If you see this, just know I'm going to try and remember you for what we are and not what we used to be. Stay safe please" - Jennifer

I closed my laptop as tears streamed down my face. I hate everything I'm going through right now. I just want Jennifer back, that's all I want.

Guess we are taking it a day at a time..

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NO EMILY 😭😩 COME BACK!

The fact that Jennifer reached out to her, PLS 🤚🏾🥴 trust me, they'll be back together soon. 🥰

Stay tuned for more!

ALSO, TARA IS COMING INTO THE PICTURE 😈

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