Reverse operation // Thiam

Problems

"W-what that's not possible? I'm a Chimera!" I said standing up straight wincing slightly at the pain that now resided in my stomach.

"A chimera that never eats." I shrugged.

"So? I eat enough so that I can still function why is this only taking effect now?"

"You're eating something that you don't usually eat, sometimes people call them fear foods. Pizza is a fear food, something you may love but your brain tells you, you shouldn't eat it."

"The alarms..." I whispered to myself.

"The alarms?" Liam asked.

"Nothing. How can I get rid of this 'eating disorder'" I put up quotation marks for emphasis.

"It's not something you can just get rid of Theo. It takes time."

"How much time."

"Months? Years? You have to put in effort. You have to eat."

"But it's so easy not to!" I groaned.

"Tell me something Theo. Do you feel cold a lot?"

"I'm always cold why?"

"Dizzy spells?" I thought about how I felt a moment ago.

"Sometimes..."

"Dry skin?"

"I have eczema?"

"I don't think so. Abdominal pains?"

"Yeah... what's the point?"

"Theo they're all symptoms of eating disorders." Allison spoke up . It was the first time I'd heard her voice in a while.

"Okay... but I have jumpers, there's paracetamol, creams I can use, hot water bottles? There's stuff I could do!"

"Yeah or you could spare the trouble of getting all that stuff and eat." Jackson remarked. God how I hated that kid.

"It's not that easy!" I said slamming my fist down on the table. I felt my pinky finger break under the impact, I crunched it back into place.

"You don't get it. I'm a Chimera I'm not meant to get ill, and eating makes me ill. When I eat my brain goes into panic. Like alarms going off in my head. What if the foods poisoned? This has too many calories! They're trying to poison you Theo! That's why I don't eat, I want to eat, I want to eat so bad! My stomach aches every hour that I don't but I can't!" I practically shouted. I sucked in a shaky breath before whispering. "I don't eat to stop the alarms."

There was silence in the Mcall house. Hey I have a room now, may as well use it. I looked at Liam who was staring at me with sympathy in his eyes before shrugging his warm hand off my back and walking upstairs into the room Melissa had let me stay in. I sat down on the bed putting my head in my hands.

I felt sick, I was cold, my stomach hurt and my chest felt tight. I hated feeling this way. It wasn't fair! I was a chimera these things aren't supposed to happen anymore. I pulled the blade out my pocket, it was always with me. Reminding me that I could do it whenever I pleased. For that relief to flood my body. That release I so badly needed right now.

I drew the metal across my skin the blood appearing a second later then another second and it had gone. It frustrated me sometimes. Sometimes I wanted the cuts to stay open, to stay exposed just for a moment longer. But they never did. I drew the blade over my flesh again the small sting of the metal appearing again for a second then again, disappearing.

Again, this frustrated me and I made two more slashes which also healed over so I made more. And more. And more. When I'd got to a point that I was satisfied I stood up. My head spun and I had to support myself to stop me toppling over.

"What the..." I whispered to myself. This never happens?

I looked down at my wrists again. The cuts hadn't healed over and my arms were now bathed in blood. I stumbled to the door painting the floor with my DNA creating what looked like a murder scene with each step.

"Liam!" I called my throat hoarse, my muscles heavy and sore. I had managed to make it to the top of the stairs. Liam appeared at the bottom and pure horror dawned on his face.

"Melissa!" He practically screamed and she came running to his side. Her face paled as she saw me.

"Theo..." she whispered. "Someone call an ambulance!"

"T-they won't heal." I said barely able to stand up straight. "Why won't they heal Melissa?"

"I don't know honey, I'm gonna come up to you okay?"

"Okay." I said feeling extremely drowsy. Melissa reached me and she looked me over. I smiled at her .

"I'm sorry."

"And that's what happened." Liam said sitting next to the bed I lay in. I looked down at the bandages around my wrists.

"Why do you do it?" Liam asked and I raised an eyebrow.

"The cutting?" Liam nodded.

"It's not one reason." I said sitting back so my head was against the pillows. I tilted it to the side to I was looking at Liam.

"Sometimes I feel I need to hurt myself. Or I do it to stop myself from hurting others. But mainly it's when I'm stressed. The cutting it what gives me relief. Each cut is like a release. It releases my worries."

"You've got to stop." Liam said and I sighed. "Theo you have to stop. You almost died last night!"

"I know... I just don't want to hurt anyone." Liam took my hand in his circling his thumb over the back of my hand.

"You won't. Because you'll have me. And I won't let you hurt anyone." He smiled at me. "Unless of course they deserve it." I laughed.

"Thank you." I said and Liam squeezed my hand.

"No problem." He stood up and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. He pulled away but his face remained close. Liam had always had such beautiful eyes.

"I've got to stop causing everyone problems." I said and Liam smiled.

"You cause no problems that we can't fix. That's why I love you."

"What?"