Finding Home || bxb

9

"So, we're good?" Charlie asked. I was getting ready to head out and meet Roman when he came into my room to properly clear the air I suppose.

"Yeah, we're cool," I replied.

"Great!" he said seeming relieved. "I'm glad. Where you headed?"

I told him about what Roman said at the park and how he asked me to come over to hang out with him and his mates. "Do you think it's weird that I'm going. A few days ago we didn't even know each other really."

"Well, that's how you make friends right. Meet someone, talk, then start hanging out. I know you like him as more than a friend, but this could be a good way to start getting close to him. You know, if he does like guys but considering he's been checking up on you, met up with you in person to apologise about one little thing, and now wants to hang out, I have a good feeling he likes you at least."

I nodded reluctantly as my nerves put me on edge. I just didn't know if this was a good idea or not. I was also worried his friends would be too curious about my neck, but luckily I had a solution for that. Underneath my hoodie, I wore a turtle neck. Admittedly it was a little suffocating like they usually were, but I needed it today. I couldn't really work out if I looked like I was trying to be edgy or if I just looked stupid though, but neither was a good thing. But it was better than having people ask me unnecessarily questions. I probably wouldn't do this again with how restricting it felt though.

"Do I look stupid?" I asked Charlie who was sat on the edge of my bed while I fretted about trying to fix my image as I stared into my mirror.

"You look fine. Jeez, you're acting like a girl," he said.

I just turned around and gave him a look. "You shouldn't use being a girl as an insult you know."

Charlie looked sheepish after I told him off and scratched the back of his head as he muttered an apology.

"How are you getting there?" Charlie asked.

"I was just gonna walk. He's like 20 minutes away," I replied.

"I can give you a ride if you want," he offered.

"No, it's okay. I think a walk will do me some good."

"Alright," he said getting up and heading out of my room. He stopped for a moment at my door thought and through the reflection of my mirror I could see he was facing me. "You sure we're okay?"

I turned around so I was facing him too. "I'm sure," I said with finality. I was just stressed at the moment so maybe I was giving him the impression that I still hadn't fully forgiven him. I will admit, it made me uncomfortable with him knowing but whatever is done is done. I can't change the past... as much as I wish I could.

He nodded and finally left and then 5 minutes later I left the Colloway house and headed to Roman's.

I meant it when I said I could use the walk. I felt like there was a lot going on in my head at the moment and the fresh air was helping me feel a little more relaxed. It was early winter so it had already been dark outside for a few hours. It was also pretty cold.

This walk gave me plentiful time to really think about what was happening in my life at the moment. I had a new foster family one that, though I would be reluctant to admit out loud, I actually quite liked. With how peaceful the house was and with having a whole room to myself, I was able to get a lot of revision done which means I was doing quite well at college in all our mock exams that we would do in class. I'd recently just sent off my university applications as well. I applied to five different ones, most of them between 1-3 hours away which would make the move much easier if I got accepted. I knew I wouldn't have to worry about money when I was at uni because I'd have access to all the money my parents left for me once I turned 18. And if I didn't want to go to university anymore, I would have all that money to do literally whatever I wanted. I could definitely get my own place even.