Finding Home || bxb

32

We had dinner at an Indian restaurant where I stuffed myself full. By the end my tummy was bloated like I was pregnant, and I sat there content and happy with a hand on my stomach. Roman put his ear to my belly as though he were listening out for a baby, and I pushed him away.

"Stop it." I laughed.

"But I'm saying hello to your baby. She'd be so cute," Roman responded.

"If I ever actually ended up pregnant, safe to assume it's an alien and probably going to eat you," I said.

"Well, that's a lovely image," Dahlia responded.

——

Then we three went to our respective homes to get changed and grab whatever we needed. I'd been wearing the hoodie Dahlia had bought me all day and I was sad to part with it even for an evening. It had been so warm and cosy and it was a gift from my friend and what I'd been wearing when I got my first boyfriend and had such a good day on one of the first birthdays I'd enjoyed in so long. But it's not something I could wear clubbing, so I didn't.

Instead, I changed into some black and white chess patterned trousers with a chain on the side in the belt loops. The trousers were loose and bunched up a little at my heels where they were a tiny bit too long. They would definitely need a wash when I got back. Up top, I wore a black velvet button up shirt with short sleeves where I left the first few buttons undone to revel a fishnet tank top that I wore underneath. On my feet were an old pair of Doc Martens; they'd once been my fathers and I'd kept them in my possession when I was packing my things for the children's home after he died. It was one of the only few things of theirs I kept and I was glad they were still holding out strong.

I went over to Dahlia's a short while later where she touched up my makeup adding dark eyeshadow around my eyes. I sprayed glitter in my hair knowing it would be a pain to wash out, probably finding specks of it in my hair for weeks afterwards, but it looked so pretty, and I loved it.

Luckily my bloating had gone down now. I didn't always feel sexy when my little tummy showed, but I knew it would come back as I started drinking. Luckily, my shirt was buttoned at my belly and wouldn't show it. But the funny thing was, I was only really worried about Roman finding me sexy and I was really starting to think he didn't care about whether I had a little tummy or not. Maybe he didn't find me sexy when I did – I couldn't be certain – but he definitely didn't find me ugly. He made me feel good in every way I could be.

Dahlia looked gorgeous in her outfit. She wore a short dress of charcoal black that glittered with faint sparkles of light. Her legs were long and slender, enhanced by the winding fishnet tights she wore and the slit of her dress at one leg that made her look all the more alluring. Her purple hair hung down her shoulders pin-straight and she'd done her makeup to match her eyes to my own. On her feet were Doc Martens as well.

We looked like we could be siblings, and maybe in a way we were. She was the first member of my new family that I chose when I decided maybe I would actually try being happy again instead of self-sabotaging everywhere I went. She was a sister I never had. Emily was wonderful, but it was Dahlia who knew all my secrets before anyone else, who forced her way into my life and didn't let me push her away, who made me feel seen again.

Roman came to Dahlia's to walk us both to Keaton's around 8pm. When we opened the door, he stared at us in awe.

"I don't know which of you to look at," he said.

"Umm, me. You know, your boyfriend," I huffed out annoyed. But I wasn't really that annoyed. I didn't blame him for looking at her. I knew if I liked girls, I probably would have done a lot more staring myself.