New Beginnings

Chp. 9

After spending 20 minutes arguing about where to go for breakfast, we finally found ourselves scarfing down delicious food and having a good time. So when we paid the bill, and walked out the door, I was sad that we would have to part ways so soon, until Hinata spoke up.

"That was good. Now I have more enegry to play volleyball."

"Do you ever think about anything else besides volleyball?"

"Tsukishima, don't be mean. A little enthusiasm never hurt. In fact, I think it's a great idea. There's a park across the street. We could go there."

"But, Daichi we don't have a ball."

"Don't worry Suga I have one in my bag."

Laughing, I shook my head in disbelief.

"Leave it to Kageyama to be prepared. I'm actually impressed."

"Thanks, Asahi."

"Alright, guys let's go."

"Yeah!"

We all walked towards the park, and found an empty space near a swing set. While they played, Kiyoko and I decided to sit on the swings to watch them. We sat in silence for the most part, just watching until I heard Kiyoko sigh.

"Hey NaNa?"

"Hm?"

"I was... wondering..."

I looked at her, and saw her fidget nervously.

" ...Go on."

"I was wondering if... maybe... I should confess soon."

To say I was dumbfounded was an understatement. For a second I could only stare at her. Then I felt a huge smile come over my face.

"Please say something and stop looking like that."

"I can't help it. You crushed on this guy for how long? And you're just NOW thinking you should finally confess?"

"Well... yeah."

I burst out laughing then, but seeing her look so down my laughter quickly died off.

"Ki, I love you, but this confession is WAY over due. What brought this on anyway?"

"Well, after our talk this morning about giving Suga a chance. I realized that I wasn't following my own advice."

"I see, but my case is different from yours though. "

"That maybe true, but what we do have in common is that fear to be open to others, and I think it's time."

She had a point. We both pushed people away because either we were afraid to be hurt or to hurt someone else. With a sigh, I started to swing a little. I was so lost in thought thinking about my own problems that I didn't see Suga walk over.

"Hey Natsumi."

He sat next to me on the other swing, and I gave him a sad smile.

"Hey."

"You okay?"

I nodded but didn't look at him. Then he stood up, held out his hand to me.

"Come take a quick walk with me."

"Sure."

I grab his hand and he helped me up from the swing.

"I'll be back, Ki."

She gave me a knowing look and a thumbs up. I turned back to Suga and he smiled as he led the way to a path that circles the park. As soon as we were out of sight from the others he spoke up.

"What's wrong Natsumi? Talk to me."

Sighing, I stopped walking and faced him. I looked in his eyes for second trying gather the courage to tell him whats on my mind.

'Fuck it.'

"Suga, before we go any further with... whatever this is, I want to tell you something."

He grabbed both my hands, and braced himself.

"Ok I'm all ears."

I squeezed his hands to steady my nerves, and gather my courage.

"I know Kiyoko already told you guys a little about my ex and him abusing me, and that IS the reason I left my old school and moved here, but that isn't the whole story."

I saw a bench not too far from us and pointed at it.

"We should sit for this."

He nodded his head and led the way. After we sat down I looked at the ground and took a deep breath. He grabbed my hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb trying to soothe me as I started talking again.

'Well here goes nothing.'

"Everything was fine in the beginning. He was sweet, caring and attentive, but then after a few months he wanted to take things further. I told him I wasn't ready and that I wanted my first time to be special. And he accepted that or so I thought."

I looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. Trying to keep myself calm. I felt Suga let go of my hand to rub my back in soothing circles.

"Take your time."

"One day we were at my house hanging out alone and he just started...touching me and kissing me roughly. I pushed him off me and told him to leave and that if he couldn't respect me and what I wanted then we were over. That's when... he got angry and started yelling, then the next thing I know, he was hitting me. By that time my mom had just walked in, she heard all commotion and came running. She pulled him away from me and forced him to leave. After that my mom wanted to press charges but I was so scared of what he might do, so I told her to drop it. We moved instead, I changed my number, and I haven't seen or heard from him since."

With a deep sigh I turned to face Suga. The look on his face showed anger and sadness. He raised his hand to cup my cheek and I leaned into it for a moment. Taking refuge in his touch.

'This is what I wanted.'

Grabbing both his hands, I continued.

"Suga... I told you all of this because even though I'm happy you asked me out, and... I know your not him, I'm just scared that it will happen again. I guess... I need to know that you won't treat me like he did."

Suga let go of my hands and pulled me into a tight hug and whispered,

"Thank you for telling me this. I can't promise you that I won't hurt you in some way, but I can promise you to do my best, to prove to you that I am worthy, and that you can trust me. If my words aren't enough to convince you, then I'll keep trying with my actions to prove it to you. We can go at your pace, you can call all the shots, I don't care as long as I get to see your beautiful smiling face then that's enough for me."

He pulled backed and he smiled at me. I bursted into tears hugging him tighter. It felt like a weight was lifted of my chest and I could breathe again.

"Thank you."

We sat there for what felt like hours holding each other as I finally calmed down. He let go and wiped my face for me. Then he stood up and held out his hand.

"Come on let's go back."

I put my hand in his and he held it tightly as he led the way back.