New Beginnings

Chp. 19

I woke up early the next morning to feel Suga's arms wrapped around me.

'He must have snuck in after dinner.'

I snuggled closer and pretended to be sleep. This is the only time I can be honest with myself, so I usually take advantage of it before I have to go back to ignoring him. Suddenly, he started moving so I knew he was awake. 

"I hate to let you go, but I don't want you to be mad at me for sneaking in here. This is the only thing I can do for you right now, and... I'm sorry, Sweetheart. I'll make it up to you some how." He whispered.

His wrapped around me tighter and kissed my forehead. We stayed like that for a few more seconds  before he got up and quietly left my room. I reached my hand over on his side and kept it there til the sheets went cold.

'I miss your warmth already.'

Sighing I got up and walked downstairs quietly and I over hear Suga talking to my mom .

"I have a volleyball game today, so I'll be late coming back. Is that ok?"

"Thats fine, but why don't you ask Natsumi to go with you guys? She is a manager after all, right? Kiyoko was telling me about it the other day." She said frowning a little.

"She is but... no, thats ok. Besides I think she hates me right now." He said scratching the back of his neck sheepishly.

"I doubt she hates you, but if you insist on not asking her to go, then we'll be here waiting when you get back."

"Thanks, see you later."

I stay where I am until I hear the front door open and close.

"Did you hear that Natsumi? I know you're there, come have a seat." 

I walk over to sit down next to her.

"So what's the real reason your avoiding him?"

"I don't want anyone getting hurt because of me, so when he hurt his hand I felt like it was my fault. I couldn't face him after that. I've caused him, you, Auntie, Kiyoko and the team enough trouble as it is. So, I thought it would be better to keep my distance. "

She read it and hugged me.

"Nastumi. We don't feel like your trouble, especially Suga. Plus you do realize by avoiding him you're hurting him too."

I nodded.

"So how about we make some sandwiches, go to that game, and you apologize properly."

She was right, I need to make thing right with Suga, but will a simple apology be enough?

'It's worth a try.'

I smiled at her as I  nodded my head.

"Great, now go get dressed. We need to go shopping, lord knows how much they eat, and we have so little time."

~SUGA's POV~

We are all stretching, getting ready for our last match when Yamaguchi asked

"So, I was wondering. I get that Natsumi didn't want to talk  because she was scared of her ex and his threat, but why isn't she talking now that we know the truth?"

Hinata spoke up and said, "Maybe she has a different reason for being silent?"

Everyone stopped stretching and then looked at me. I just shrugged my shoulders and continued to stretch.

"Look guys I know we are all worried about Nastumi right now, and we want answers. However, we have to be patient and wait for her to open up on her own. So for now, how about we focus on winning the game and make her proud."

The team cheered and put their game faces on, while Daichi walked over to me.

"Is she still avoiding you?"

"Yeah. I want to fix it, but I don't know how, she won't even stay in the same room with me long enough for me to apologize. " I said sighing.

"So you haven't been around her at all? What about her nightmares?"

"I still sleep with her, but I sneak in and out without her knowing. I feel like a predator everytime I do it though."

"She'll come around, just give her some time."

"Even if she doesn't, I'll still be there for her. I promised her that and I'll keep it." I said with determination.

~Nastumi's POV~

We were running a little late as we finished loading up the car with food for the boys. We left hoping to get there some what on time, but we got stuck in traffic. By the time we got to our seats the match was almost over. With a sigh I look down at the court and saw Suga standing with his teammates waiting for a serve from the other side. As the serve went up, I watched as Suga and Kageyama did a switch play where Suga sets the ball and Kageyama scored the point for the team. I was relieved he was able to play, even with his hand being injured. After a few minutes the game is over with Karasuno winning the game. They cheered and hugged each other, they looked happy together, and it made me a little sad that I couldn't be apart of it.

"She came!" Hinata shouted as he jumps up and down, catching my attention.

I tried to smile for them as they all seem excited to see me, except Suga, he looked worried.

"Hey congrats you guys. We brought lunch. We'll meet up with you in the lobby area." My mom yells to them.

"Thank you!" They shouted in unison and then started walking away to change.

Suga stays behind and we make eye contact. He puts his injured hand over his chest and mouths the words 'I'm sorry'. I shook my head and looked away trying to blink back tears as he leaves.

"Come on let's go to the lobby."

My mom gently pushed me towards the exit, and led me to a more secluded area away from the crowd and sat me in a chair.

"You're not happy he apologized are you?"

I shook my head no. She sighed and sat in the chair next to me.

"Listen I know you're scared, upset and you feel like this whole situation is your fault, but it's time for you to stop punishing yourself. You've been through so much crap, that no one your age should have to deal with because of some asshole. You deserves to be happy, and from what I gather Suga makes you the happiest I've ever seen you. Let him in, and forgive yourself already, I just don't want you to miss out on what's supposed to be the best years of your life because of your fear and your over active thoughts." 

I nodded. Suddenly her phone rings and startles us both for a second, causing us to laugh. She looks down at the caller ID and makes a face.

"Ugh I have to take this. Think about what I said. I'll be right outside ok?"

I nodded as she walked out the nearest door. I got up and leaned up against a pillar.

'Maybe she's right. I can't keep living like this anymore. Always looking over my shoulder in fear and jumping at every touch, constantly blaming myself for everything that goes wrong. I want my life back.'

I was so focused on my thoughts that I wasn't paying attention to  my surroundings until I felt a tap on my shoulder.