The Badboy Got Out Of Wattpad

53. Fading Tattoo

Silence.

That's how it has been in the cabin for several minutes since I narrated everything to Erden. No emotions. No interruptions. Just an empty body who listened to me without saying a word, without any expression.

My heart is thumping inside my chest, panicking that his soul has been completely shattered. "Erden, say something, please." I plead, my hand squeezing his to make him react. Fortunately, it works as he bats his eyelashes quickly, raising his head and looking around like crazy. "Uh..." He mutters, looking everywhere except at my face. "Do you want something to eat?"

Disheartened, I shake his hand slightly. "Erden don't do as if nothing-"

"Want some sandwiches?" He ignores me and makes his way to stand up.

"Erden!" I swiftly pull his hand, refraining him from doing so.

"What Hazel?!" He throws my hand away, yelling suddenly. "What should I do?!"

I'm bug-eyed by his aggressivity. But I knew that's how he would react, just as I did or like anyone would.

"They were so fucking careless! I lived here, got a life!" The veins of his neck his throbbing, his face flushing. "Got fucking attached to everything! To you!"

Tears stream down my face on seeing him as such, but I'm helpless. Everyone is. No one can save him. I can just gape at him, letting him pour out everything.

"And you know what's the worst thing!" He lets out a laugh, but with tears in his eyes. "I wasted fifty days, ruining it by hurting you, just to make sure that you don't kill me!" He spreads his arms widely in despair. "Now that I have finally repaired by mistakes, they tell me that I will have to die anyway!" He laughs again. "They must be fucking kidding!"

His words pierced my heart, rendering the pain unbearable.

He looks at me more softly. His lips tremble as his gaze focuses on my face. "I-I hurrtt yo-"

Unable to retain himself anymore, he buries his face in his hands as he sobs out load. His ears have turned red as he wails out in pain and desperation. I burst into tears as well, unable to endure the agony of sighting him like that. My arms wrap around him and lean him closer to me. Sniffing, he rests his head on my shoulder and I begin to stroke his hair, in hope it comforts him. "Tt-this time, II-I don't want to die just to be with you, Hazel." His voice sounds shaky as he manages to say.

My eyes shut briefly. I want it too, I want it with all my heart. And it's time to let him know.

"Erden...I-I love you too." I blurt out without thinking. He instantly raises his head to look at my face with an agape mouth. "That day I heard you. I was so happy that you said it. But it broke my heart as well." Overflowed by emotions, I throw myself into his arms and clasp the back of his t-shirt. "I love you, Erden! I love you so much." I snivel, releasing all the sadness, all the hurt and the tonnes of feelings I have for him. "You can't imagine how broken I was."

His arms needingly fold around my back. "I'm so sorry." He buries his face in my shoulder as he weeps, too.

I don't know for how long we stayed in each other's arms, but we could stay like that forever...in peace.

At last, I pull out from the hug and look at him, mopping my teary face with my hands. "We will be okay." I try out a wide smile and begin to wipe his tears from his red, wet face. I quickly press my lips against his, and I can feel it stretches into a smile.

But he looks back at me, still sulking. "Would you have forgiven me if I didn't have to die?"

His question renders me speechless.

"I-I don't know." I inhale a breath, fiddling with my fingers. "A part of me was justifying you because you only wanted to defend yourself. But another part of me was hurt." My eyes drop to the floor, then back at him. "You lied to me and played me at the beginning. Maybe with time, I would have forgiven you if I saw that you really deserve it."

He shakes his head rapidly in denial.

"Hazel..." His hand reaches for mine, the warm contact assures me. "Everything we experienced was true. I didn't fool you with my words, not even with my actions at the beginning." He is staring at me, so deep into my eyes. The sea-green color of his seems so sincere, so hopeful, and so true to us. "All moments flowed along with my feelings."

I gaze at him for some seconds, before ceding. If I don't believe him now, I will never be able to.

Erden finally smiles as I caress his forehead, pushing back the hair which is falling on it. "You know, when I was choosing the name for the main character of my book, I thought and searched a lot." My heart aches as I remember. "I wanted a name with a great significance."

His eyes narrowed, curiously.

"And I've chosen Erden, because it means treasure in the Mongolian origin."

Hearing me, his lips widen into a profound beam.

"You will always be my treasure." I state intensely, tracing my finger on the side of his cheek.

"For me..." He trails off, leaving a soft kiss on my forehead. His lips lower a little down to kiss the tip of my nose. "You're my Miss writer." Then he kisses my lips. "And my life."

It sounds like a melody to my ears. A melody that will remain engraved in my mind.

Just I was about to take his hand, I catch sight of his arm. My smile promptly decomposes, my eyes widening in shocked. In a panic, I haul his arm to see properly. My hand quivers as I confirm it's real. "Y-Your tattoo is fading." A cold shiver runs through me. Both the black and ruby-red ink of his tattoo has turned paler than usual.

"I-I didn't notice that." His eyelids tremble in fear as he fixes his own arm. "I-I guess it will turn paler till it disappears totally on the last day."

"No!" I blast off from my seat, gasping in fright again. "We will add more drafts! I can't spend only fifty days with you!"

"Hazel no!" He stands up as well and gets a hold of my face. "If you keep adding drafts, you will get more attached to me. You will want to keep adding drafts so that I never go. Years will past, and I will never grow old." The heavy sensation climbs up my throat again on listening to him. He is trying to soothe me when his own heart is bleeding at his words.

"I-I will never be able to make you a mother." His eyes squeeze shut for some seconds. I gnash my teeth, unable to hear this. Even if I know he is right, I can't accept it.

"W-what if I write a chapter and publish it where we got a baby or where we became old after a long happy life!" I wobble. Though how much I know it's impossible, my soul is mourning to find a way.

"Hazel, nothing of all this would be real." He caresses the side of my cheek, holding himself strong with the little force left in him. "Besides, you need to think of the other characters of your books, that is your friends and family."

I nod desperately, my gaze blurring with tears, knowing that I will have to accept it. "II- I just want you to be real forever, Erden." As my voice is cracking, he embraces me tightly. I hold on to him dearly, appeasing my wounds. "How I wish too." He mutters, kissing the top of my head.

"But we can realise another wish." He pulls out of the hug right way. I squint at him.

A wide, promising smile is brightening his face.

"That we make the remaining fifty days epic."

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