Chenford: One Shot to the Heart

Here To Stay

Tim woke up, immediately knowing something was wrong. There was no dip in the mattress beside him. No warm presence. No sleepy breathing. 

She was not there.

He tried not to panic. But he couldn't help recalling what had happened to him so many years before. Waking up to an empty bed. Calling Isobel's name and searching the house in vain all while suppressing the feeling that he needed to throw up and dissolve into tears.  She was gone. He knew it before he had even rolled out of bed that morning.

Don't think that way, he chastised himself. Lucy's different.

But was she? Maybe she was. Maybe he was the problem. Everyone, one way or another, had left him for something better. Isobel left him because the drugs were better than him. Rachel left him because the job was better than him. Ashley left because... because... actually that still stumped him. She had stopped it all one evening after they had been together for nearly six months and was infuriatingly vague about the why. Now, three years later, she was happily married and getting ready for her first child. 

Regret had sat like a rock in the pit of his stomach. Could that have been what they would have had together? Would that have been him, waiting for her at the end of the day instead of the man who now had that forever privilege? 

He had always wanted it. A family of his own. He felt that he had been cheated. It was his silent fear that he would never have it. 

He was scared that he would never get that chance again. Until Lucy. 

She had always been there. She had always found a way to make him better. It was hard to recall the days when all he wanted to do was break her spirit and determination. To show her that the life of a cop wasn't some fantasy nor some joke she could play with until she hopped to the next thing that caught her interest. It took time. But she grew on him. She proved him wrong over and over and he was proud because of it. 

Her year of being a P3 was interesting, to say the least. It had been one hell of a year for him as well. Confronting his father. Starting the first serious relationship he had had in a long time. Looking back on it now, he would question what went wrong. Was it just "not meant to be?" That didn't matter now. 

But through it all, Lucy had been there. She had stood by his side as he faced his dad. She had aided in every way she could so that his and Ashley's relationship didn't go up in flames after only a short month. She drank whiskey with him even though she hated it as he let himself go numb after Ashley had broken up with him. 

Which was why, even though it still took a few years, they found what they had been waiting for in each other. 

~~~

She had always been there. Why would she leave? Why wouldn't she be there now? He was panicking and he hadn't even sat up in bed yet. He rolled out and made his way to the living room. 

She was there. Wrapped up in the bright yellow blanket she had forced him to display on the back of his couch, sipping on a mug of what she called coffee but was really just creamer with a splash of caffeine. 

She smiled brightly, her dark waves cascading down her back and sitting on her shoulders in an adorable messy manner. "Hi," she said. He waited till she set the mug down before wrapping her up in a rib-cracking hug. She squealed before she registered the way he clung onto her, his face buried in her neck. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Why," she whispered as she traced circles into his back.

"I thought you were gone."

He felt her tense slightly and pull away. He kept his head down.

"Tim, look at me," she said softly. He couldn't.

He felt her soft fingers encase his jaw, gently forcing his gaze to meet hers.

"I'm right here. I'm right here, okay? Am I disappointed that you thought so low of me? Maybe a little. But it is nothing you should be ashamed of, and nothing I can't get over. I am never leaving. I'm here, and I'm here to stay. I promise. Okay?"

He nodded slowly. "Okay."

"Now that that is settled," she said in a much cheerier tone, "what do you say we take Kojo for a walk and then watch the game at 12? It's the Rams and the 49rs?"

His eyes were shining. "This is why I love you."

She smirked. "Are you sure you don't love football more? Because you have more jerseys than pictures of us."

He leaned in, stealing a long, slow kiss. He drank it in, relishing in the burn that settled in his chest just like whiskey. 

They broke apart. 

"Oh, I am very sure."