Chenford: One Shot to the Heart

Okay, you didn't see THIS coming? OR: Always Has Been

A/N part 2 to: You Didn't See This Coming? (alt. perspective)

Requested by: Teta-Rey

He was conflicted over the way things had ended with Ashley. But certainly not unhappy that they had called it off. He was putting in the effort to make it work, as was she. That, he felt, was part of the problem. Good relationships need effort. But "making" it work was just that. Forced and dry. There was barely even a relationship. What they had could be called a relationship with their relationship. But it wasn't having it. 

If they were meant for each other, why were they more devoted to making the relationship rather than having a relationship?

The answer was simple. They weren't. So things fizzled out on their own, with wishes of the best and hopes to stay connected. Of course, the connected bit didn't stick.

Work, being busy as usual, helped the days blur by. Months passed him like cars heading the opposite direction on the freeway. Fast and indistinguishable. 

She was the last thing on his mind as he sipped on his coffee. It was Sunday. He'd run with Koho that morning, mowed the lawn, and cleaned the house. There was a game he would watch at 2. Haven't heard from Lucy at all today. Maybe I'll make it through-

"Hi Tim." Those two words pulled the breaks on his train of thought. He looked up, meeting a translucent-blue pair of eyes.

Ashley.

"Ashley, hey," he started, unable to hide the shock in his voice, "how are you doing?"

"Good, I'm good. You?" she asked, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and twirling it around her finger, a nervous tic of hers he had become familiar with. 

He cracked a smile, hoping some humor would at least break some of the tension inside of him. "Well, I'm not dead yet." It earned him a grin. Score. Ashley, even if she had struggled with aspects of his personality, appreciated his somewhat morbid humor. Because of it, he had often struggled to connect with people who didn't understand that he was 'joking.' Ashley had never made it awkward for him in that respect. 

"Do you want anything?" he asked, racking his brain for what she usually ordered. "You like the... espresso with almond milk and cinnamon, right?"

She smiled appreciatively. "No, I'm good, thanks. I just saw you through the window, figured I'd say hi."

He fumbled for more words. "Well, it is good to see you it's been..." how long had it been?

"A few months," she supplied with ease. Either she had been keeping track or he was just really out of it. 

"-off?" he heard her question. She was probably asking if it was his day off.

"Yeah. You?" She shook her head ruefully. "No, actually. I'm heading in for the PM shift here soon."

"Okay. Well, I-" *ding* he felt the buzz of his phone in hand. Glancing down at the notification, he fought back a smile at the contact name displayed: Hotshot. AKA Lucy. She still had no idea.

With Ashley right in front of him, he didn't want to respond to her text that read: You up?

It was a joke they orbited as on their days off, he was still up before the sun could rise while she slept in past noon. 

Lucy had been a conflicting point in his and Ashley's relationship. She had helped prevent many premature mistakes, especially on his end that were a simple fix. But the fact that they themselves so easily fell in sync with each other almost made a mockery of what he and Ashley were trying so hard to achieve. He'd always gone to bat for her, claiming she was just his partner (another thing he'd never admit to Lucy's face). That, he reflected, may have caused more harm than good in the long run. 

"Is that Lucy?" he heard Ashley ask him through the fog.

"Yeah," he replied, still in a daze. "Wait," everything clicked back into focus, "how could you tell?"

"It's written all over your face," she said, suppressing a laugh. Okay. So he wasn't as subtle as he thought he was.

"-is she? Also, tell her to text me. I lost her number and I've been wanting to reconnect." He perssonally didn't see how well that would go. Nor would it bode well for him...yet he readily agreed and told her Lucy was doing good. At least he hoped so. 

"She still dating the ADA? What was his name?" 

"Sanford," he replied, grimacing slightly. He'd regretted pushing them together. The guy was easily distracted and seemed careless overall from the start where Lucy was concerned. Sure, he got to hear all about the "thoughtful" things he'd plan. But in the same breath, Lucy would be telling him she'd have to cancel because it conflicted with the schedule. Even worse, she'd blame herself. To make matters worse, though it was after they broke up, she told him about what he had done, singing that song. It took a lot of talking down from her to convince him not to risk his career by punching out an ADA. He finally remembered where he was, and finished up with, "and no, they called it quits... maybe a month after you and I."

"That's a shame."

"Yeah," he said while unconsciously thinking, not really. 

It was as she read his mind as the next words that left her mouth were: "So...how are you two not together yet?"

Was he hearing his ex-girlfriend right? "What now?"

"You and Lucy," she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "come on Tim, you aren't dense."

He persisted in staring at her blankly, hoping she'd just let it go and not vocalized one of his deepest hopes. A plan that was flawed from the start.

"Geez...maybe you are. At least in this case. Whatever, listen to me. Screw regs and status. You two, are perfect for each other. Please, give it a shot. He inhaled, getting ready to impale his heart once again. "Ash, that's ridiculous. She's just-" "You're partner, I know. And I know you weren't lying to me then, but you are now. To me and to yourself. Look, Lucy is an amazing, capable badass, not to mention, hot and gorgeous. She is perfect for you. Don't lose her. Don't let her slip through your fingers. Cause one day, it will be too late."

He fell into a daze, barely registering her lips on his cheeks, her words about sanity, or the twirl of he her hair as she left, leaving his world in shambles. 

He left the coffee shop, walking until he found an empty bench where he could sit and figure out the jigsaw  that was his mind. 

He tried starting simple. Ashley's right. Yup, bad move. But she was. Lucy was an amazing, capable badass. She was hot. She was gorgeous. Yes, there was a distinction. Was she perfect for him? He wouldn't have a complete answer for that unless she and him actually...did something about it. But as far as his idea of being with her went, yes, she was perfect. For him. 

She always had been.