The beach -Jalex-

If the truth's the worst I can do then I guess that I have lied.

JACK'S POV

I woke up to the sound of my phone going off with the sound of Always by Sum 41, meaning someone was either calling me or texting me. I rubbed the sleep off my eyes as I unlocked my phone putting all my weigh on my elbow as I held my head up with my hand, keeping myself off falling asleep and checked the time, it read 3:04AM. I groaned to myself as I opened the text I got, not bothering to check who was texting me.

I didn't expect to see Alex's name on top of the message but then again, I didn't have anyone who'd text me. I yawned and sat straight on my bed leaning my back on the headboard of the bed.

From: Alex 2:58AM

 'I'm sorry about earlier, I wasn't really worried about anything I was just thinking and my mum knew something was up so we talked for a while and I forgot to text you back, so uhm sorry. I'm just really confused and upset and angry and everything sucks right now. I know I'll probably bother you but you asked and you can read it or not or do whatever you want to do.

I know it's not wrong but I feel like it's a disease this thing I have for guys because of what my parent taught me- my mom stills support whatever I choose to do so everything's fine but- I don't even want to like guys, I don't know what to do or what to talk about when I'm in front of them, it's weird, I know that. I used to hang out with my crowd of friends and there were like three or four guys and I liked  and everything, they were kind and friendly but I'm afraid to get close to them because I'll probably like them way too much if I do.

I still love Luna -I think. I never told her before but I feel like I'm going to break her heart if I break up with her. But, if I don't, and like guys, I'll still be cheating on her in a way, right? I can't date her and think other guys are hot, or attractive. I just can't do that to her.

I have no fucking idea of what to do. Please help me?

You'll probably read this in the morning so, good morning :) Lex xx'

Fuck.

Why was I feeling like someone punched me on my stomach? I don't even know, man. I could feel jealousy and feelings growing stronger on my chest as I reached to take a breath every time. Why would I even lie to myself?

I was jealous of Luna and the guys Alex found attractive, probably being from his school or something. I was jealous of anyone who knew who Alex was because in all honestly, I already felt rejected as in any friendship or relationship I could bond with him. I had met him a day ago, so what?

That's me, stupid Jack Bassam Barakat being such a downer because he always keeps his hopes up thinking that everything he wants to happen will eventually do, but never really does. Never.

How am I supposed to help him? I've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend before, never kissed anyone and it's not like my friends talked to me like they used to -I really need to socialize more.

I checked the time again, it read 3:10AM. What if Alex already went to sleep and I wake him up when he gets my text?

I started tapping my fingers on the headboard of the bed, trying to come up with something to say to the boy.

I sighed and jumped off my bed, making Gato -my cat- get off it with me. I headed to the bathroom, my cat following after me as I predicted.

I placed my hands on the sink and I analyzed my figure in the mirror. I hadn't noticed the dark color surrounding my eyes, revealing that I hadn't had much sleep in the past few weeks until that moment. I heard some people in my English class say that one does not sleep if he/she is in love (or all night on Tumblr). I couldn't be in love, I didn't believe 'love' existed, who knows why.