JACK'S POV
A month had passed by and to say that the summer was taking forever to come to its end would be an understatement. I didn't like summer, at all.
Kids hanging around on their swimming clothes, going to other people's houses in order to go to their yard or their pool, I don't even know; I was not one of those people so I never did experience that feeling.
A bunch of sweaty teenagers having parties every night, getting drunk and sleeping with anyone that got in-between their legs.
I'd gladly enjoy the weather if it was winter. Thinking that someday, maybe in the near future I'll be cuddling some cute guy trying to keep him warm, our bodies pressed up against the other underneath the thick blanket as our feet tangled together. My chin brushing the top of his head -it's not like I'd find a taller guy than me considering how tall I was- and his head placed on my chest using it as a pillow as we drifted off to sleep, our arms wrapped around each other's torso.
But that was not happening at the moment. I was lying on my back in the middle of my bed. My legs spread open with my fingers curled around my phone.
I was doing nothing, literally nothing because what do you do when you've got no one to hang around with and it's scorching outside?
Nothing, so that was what I was doing. You either sleep or wait for someone to talk to you, which was what I was doing and had been doing that whole morning.
You could tell I was waiting for Alex to come online. I had downloaded Skype on my phone so I could talk to him on there because my parents sucked ass and took my laptop off me whenever they had to go out and leave me alone.
My friendship with Alex was going great to say the least. We talked every day all day -knowing that we lived in the same country, the time zone was the same for the both of us.
I had considered sleeping at night but that was when Alex had mental breakdowns and was the hell upset so letting him down when he most needed a friend wasn't even an option even if I felt the same way -he didn't need to know that though.
He wasn't heartbroken, not at all, but he broke down crying in front of the screen as he told me that he had broken up with Luna. Part of my mind told me to be kind and nice to him, to comfort him even if it was 4AM and there was no way I could cover those pair of black eyes of mine the next morning -not that I was going anywhere anyway.
I had this kind of unknown connection with his heart; I think I was hurt too. It killed me to listen to his angelic voice crack up, mixed with sobs and sniffles as he talked trying to keep his voice low because his parents were asleep in the room across the hall.
Their broke up story was simple; they met at Luna's, she was really happy that Alex had finally decided to show up and apologize for not spending much time with her lately but the visit didn't go as she had planned.
Alex was careful with the words he spoke, casually slipping "we're done" in between pointless information along with his powerful speech.
He didn't even give her a reason; he couldn't risk everything and tell her that he liked guys -that he was gay- because that wasn't right in his mind.
He hurt her, obviously, anyone would be heartbroken if their partner broke up with them -even more if said person is Alex; kind, sweet, fun and gorgeous in my eyes Alex.
Luna ended up sobbing in his arms but Alex knew that wasn't right and that she'd get over him eventually. He let her know that he wanted to stay friends with her when they both recovered from the break.
He pulled away and walked home. Nothing too dramatic happened after that but it hurt me to know that Alex was hurt and I wanted to make him feel better.
So what if I like someone I met on the internet a few months ago? I'd say it is love and convince people of our safe relationship but neither of us got there yet. I doubted he even liked me.
I'd love to ask him if he did, but guys, let's be honest here, who'd like some lanky guy who isn't even huggable because of his wear bones and thin skin? A big crooked nose and not the prettiest of mouths. My hair was painted in an artificial yellow color in some parts and my eyes were too big for my slim frame.
Someone who didn't even had his first kiss at the age of almost 18 when everyone else had a pretty active sex life at that point.
I pushed the trail of thoughts to the back of my head and checked if Alex was online yet. Nope, nothing.
And then that voice popped on my mind again. What if he liked me? We literally spent days talking and he seemed damn interested in what I had to tell him even if I was just talking about pointless things.
His cute dimples made my smile grow; knowing that I was the one making him smile at night gave me some kind of hope.
He said that he used to talk to his group of friends when he was at school but they weren't that close, just as me with Zack and Rian.
Maybe I had a slight chance with Alex at some point in my life but it's not like I would or could wait all my life for him to realize it if there was something to realize, if that even makes sense.
Maybe I could ask him if he liked me as much as I liked him, just so I knew if I had a chance with him or not.
There were two possible answers he could give me; yes or no -obviously.
If he said yes, then I'd firstly freak out and throw away my laptop or phone depending on what I was using. He'd probably ask me if I liked him back which I'd answer 'yes' and then everything would be awkward before deciding what to do next.
We'd date -I guessed. Nothing lasts forever; we wouldn't be happy and fluffy all the time because of an obvious reason -distance. We wouldn't be able to touch, kiss, hug, anything.
I would surely end up crying to myself every night in front of the screen because Alex was way too sweet and nice, he'd cry along with me begging me not to cry because I was making him cry too and it'd hurt way too much.
But there was a chance that he'd say no and screw everything I felt deep down on my chest. I'd be so disappointed and sad, I'd blame him for wanting to talk to me, then I'd apologize for being an asshole to him and he'd accept it but nothing would ever be the same.
What if this 'being gay' was just a phase though? I have been hiding it from anyway since I found out that I was gay, mainly because it was no one's business but I thought that someday I'd find a nice girl and marry her; have a baby and make my parents proud of me.
My mind went blank as I questioned why I was thinking about all those things as someone messaged me on Skype, my face lit up knowing that only my boyfriend would be talking to me on there.
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A/N: Hello there! What do you think about his chapter? I had fun writing this in math class lol. I hope you like it AND comment! xxx
