ALEX'S POV
Mr. Carlile, if you're asking yourself why Jack declared that he was going to talk to his boyfriend when he didn’t have one, then you should remind yourself that he only talked to me on Skype, now you can guess it's me who he was going to talk to.
If you're asking yourself why, when and what happened between us, you should carry on reading because it is actually a surely entertaining story. If you're not wondering that, then what is wrong with you?
Jack had been really kind and supportive when I broke up with Luna, I obviously didn't tell her the whole reason why I ended our relationship but the matter is that I didn't lie to her either. I didn't exactly want her to know that I was gay because in all honestly, I didn't want anyone to know about it apart besides my mom and Jack. As Jack said, it was no one's business but mine.
I only told her that I didn't feel the same vibe I felt when we were close anymore, which was true, and that I needed some time to figure things out -not giving her any specific information about the stuff I was going through or I had to think over and over again.
Knowing that I had Jack by my side -not literally, but still- was a huge relief, but I also knew that it hurt the young boy too; knowing that I was hurt, mainly confused about my sexuality and it influenced him in some aspect since he was gay and liked me.
Now, how did I know that? Well, he didn’t admit that to me but I could tell by the way his gorgeous eyes focused on the screen to look at me. The way he carefully pinpointed his kind and concerned words to make me feel better whenever we talked –which was always at that point- and his excitement he felt when he wanted to talk to me and knew he would as soon as I got home.
It’s not like I had him staying up late at night to talk to me but he didn’t want to leave me alone knowing that nights were when I most needed someone next to me.
I knew I couldn't touch him, feel or just hang around with him because of fucking distance and it killed me inside.
We were feeling way too emotional one of those nights and I had the guts to tell him that I would love to take him out on a date if we lived in the same place.
He thought that I’d likely be taking advantage of him knowing that he would be my first.
He said he’d feel like a toy-boy because I’d be just trying to figure out what it was like to take part in a relationship with a guy and said that I would just forget about him if I didn’t like it.
For his surprise, I had explained him that yeah, maybe I would be using him to experience such new feeling but beside that, I also told him that I would want to try it out and date him, not only to be prepared for other relationships with other guys in the future but because I liked him a slight bit and he was my best friend already at that point.
Silently, I thought about the main problem that stopped us from that happening –distance.
I don’t think I could handle dating someone through the internet. I knew some people that had done it and they had always ended up hurting each other. They would either cheat or just give up on each other because in all honestly, who would wait god know how much time to see the person you like or love?
I really wanted to try things out with him but the voice inside my head told me otherwise.
I pushed those thoughts to the back of my head and tried to think in a positive way.
