ALEX'S POV.
I was pissed off. Like, really fucking pissed at my own self. Beyond pissed.
It came to a point where I would find myself laying on my bed not doing a thing at all -some people might enjoy doing that but I surely didn't. This happened every time I found myself laying upside down on bed, every time I kept quiet for a memorable amount of time in crowded places, I even used to zoon out when I was spending the night with my girlfriend.
It has always been one of my worst issues. I over think way too much and I think it's killing me inside.
I know others might have it worse but I guess people react differently depending on what situation they are in.
Someone could lose their mum and not feel a single thing at all, I would probably go insane and lock myself in my room knowing that I couldn't get to see my mom ever again. We are all different- we think and act differently because we are different people and have different behavior when going through something.
The main thing was that I kept playing these short scenes in my head, fearing that they would happen any day with no apparent warning.
Like the day I arrived home and my dad opened the door for me while crying and he said that my grandpa -his dad- died. I did nothing but curse and go to my room because I was angry. I couldn't believe he did that to my dad yet it wasn't his fault. He had been diagnosticated cancer a year before the event happened.
What can I say about my grandpa? I used to go to visit him to Italy twice a year but he was old enough so he didn't really spend that much time with us anymore. The worst thing about that day was that I didn't feel anything; no pain, no sympathy, nothing. He sure was my grandpa, my dad's dad, same blood and same physical features but I didn't really know him and it made me sad that I couldn't feel sad about him being gone.
These things happened and it made me unintentionally ignore Jack. We were getting along pretty well, I even asked for his address just in case my parents decided to go on a little trip around the area. He didn't want me to come over if I was going to, I guess he's shy. But I thought it could be good to see someone you met online, it could be exciting.
He used to constantly go offline -probably because his parents took his laptop away from him. He told me that he had problems at home and that he had short temper so he either went to sleep or listen to music; or both.
It's been a week since we started talking and it feels like forever. I don't know, there's just something about him that it attracts me -not in a sexual way- and I would feel like something was wrong when he or I didn't show up online on skype or didn't text each other. I guess everything was okay.
I pushed my thoughts to the back of my head as my phone went off with the sound of Always by Sum 41 signaling that someone was calling me.
"Hey baby, can I come over?" She said as I groaned to myself. Luna's voice somehow ended up sounding irritable to my ears. I hadn't had seen her in a while and in all honest, I wanted to see and cuddle her.
She kept talking into the phone as I thought about pointless things. I looked down and noticed that I was just wearing my boxers even if it was only 11:12AM.
"-that's why I want to talk to you" She finished. I felt bad knowing that I was kind of ignoring her.
"Sorry, what?" I asked hoping she wouldn't be mad a me.
"What's going on Alex? You don't call or try to-" She started talking louder as I heard a few beeps coming straight from my phone.
"I've got someone waiting for me. I'll call you later and make it up to you, okay?" I lied.
She giggled and said bye. Damn I didn't mean it like that.
I shuffled in bed before picking up the phone with a groan -I indeed groaned a lot that day.
"I can call you later" He said. I could see he was frowning.
"No no, Jack. I was already pissed off. I was talking to-"
JACK'S POV
"Luna. Yeah, I guessed" I said cutting him off.
I instantly felt pain growing deep down in my stomach.
I had always been everyone's second choice, even my only few friends and people from school just talked to me when they needed something or had no one else to talk to so they talked to me. I couldn't help but smile and try to help or do whatever they wanted me to do because I woudn't have any friend otherwise.
It felt weird knowing that Alex would spend most of his time talking to Luna rather than me and that led me to think that Alex would be wasting his time talking to me.
Knowing that my only actual friend lived fucking miles away from me didn't really help.
The thing was that I'd always get attached to people from the internet. I couldn't bring myself to like someone from school because I didn't go out much and didn't know many people, plus I had zero self confidence and wouldn't let any people near me because of my looks.
I heard Alex's angelic voice throw the phone questioning if I was there.
"Yeah sorry. I'm going to sleep" I said.
"But it's only 11:30 Jack" He said pouting.
"Yeah I know. Talk to you later, bye" I said as hung up.
I told my mom that I was sick and wanted to rest for a while.
Fuck, this one's gonna be a long summer.
