𝐃𝐘𝐍𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐘 ── 𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒛𝒚 𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒂𝒏𝒔. ✔︎

𝟬𝟭𝟯.

         RAMONA YOUNG'S DIARY. 

Sunday, June 16

Traveling to Paris Colette Bing–style was like entering an alternate universe. I never thought I'd eat Peking duck of my life at an altitude of 40,000 feet in a dining room more lavish than Empress Cixi's Summer Palace, or get to see Man of Steel in the plane's IMAX-designed screening room (it just opened in the U.S., but Adele Deng's family owns one of the biggest cinema chains in the world, so she gets advance screeners of everything). 

I never imagined I'd witness the sight of six extremely sloshed Chinese girls doing a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" off-key in Mandarin in the plane's karaoke lounge, which had marble walls embedded with pulsating LED lights. 

Before we knew it, we had landed at Le Bourget Airport, and it was all so civilized—no lines, no customs, no fuss, just three officials who came aboard to stamp our passports and a fleet of black Range Rovers waiting on the tarmac. And, oh yeah, six bodyguards who all looked like Alain Delon in his prime. Colette hired this security detail of ex–French Foreign Legionnaires to follow us around 24/7. "It'll be a fun sight gag," she said.

I mean, isn't that a bit excessive? 

The gleaming black cars whisked us to the city in no time at all and deposited me and Teddy back to my Paris townhouse. Thank god!! Because as soon as we got there, the first thing I did was pass out on my ostrich leather couch. At some point, Teddy carried me back to the bedroom, what a cutie. 

Monday, June 17

Woke up this morning to the sight of Teddy's cute naked butt silhouetted against a view of the Eiffel Tower. While Teddy and Nicky spent the day poking around bookshops in the Latin Quarter, Rachel and I joined the girls on their first big shopping expedition. 

In the motorcade of SUVs, we ended up in a car with Tiffany Yap, who gave us the lowdown on all the other girls: 

— impeccably mannered Stephanie Shi hails from a top political family, and her mother's family has huge mining and property holdings throughout the country. 

— Adele Deng, who has had the same pageboy haircut since kindergarten, is the shopping mall and cinema heiress, and she's married to the son of another party patriarch. 

— Wen Pi Fang's father is the Natural Gas King

— Perrineum Wang, whose chin, nose, and cheekbones are apparently rather new, also possesses the newest fortune. "Ten years ago her father started an e-commerce company in their living room, and now he's China's Bill Gates."

— Tiffany herself? "My family's in beverages" was all the girl with the beguiling overbite would say. 

All these girls work at P. J. Whitney Bank, and all have very impressive-sounding titles — Tiffany is an "Associate Managing Director — Private Client Group." 

So it wasn't a problem for all of you to take off at a moment's notice and come to Paris? Rachel asked, "Of course not," Tiffany said.

We arrived at rue Saint-Honoré and everyone scattered to different boutiques. Adele and Pi Fang made a beeline for Balenciaga, Tiffany and Perrineum went mad for Mulberry, Mrs. Bing and the aunties glided toward Goyard, and Colette did Colette. 

Rachel and I accompanied Stephanie into Moynat, a leather goods boutique that I absolutely LOVE! The most exquisite Rejane clutch bag was calling my name, and so naturally, I bought it — it's from a cow that's never known the existence of mosquitoes, I then bought a new wallet for Teddy, another bag for Astrid.

Tuesday, June 18

this morning, all the boutiques in town were offering exclusive perks and dedicated suck-up time. We started out the day on avenue Montaigne, where Chanel opened early for us and hosted a sumptuous breakfast in Colette's honor. As I stuffed my face with the fluffiest omelet I've ever tasted, the girls ignored the food and instead began stuffing themselves into these fluffy fringe dresses. I didn't think I needed any more things from Chanel, but apparently, my heart begged to differ. I only spent €40,000, I wasn't that addicted to Chanel. okay, no. i was obsessed.