Oh. My. Fate?! (Bl, Volume 10, Part 1)

118 Not Going to Achieve Anything

Xin Lan gave the youth a long look and then sighed deeply. "I apologize."

Zheng Yin raised his head, his brows shooting up as well. "Apologize?" He frowned, his eyes narrowing faintly. That wasn't a word he had ever expected to hear from him. "What for?" Because he couldn't think of anything.

Xin Lan gave a hum and encircled his waist, looking at that beautiful face. "I usually pride myself in being a good lover. Part of that is paying enough attention to the one I'm with. You shouldn't feel like you are second to anything. But since the moment I came here, I haven't been very successful in making it that way for you. I was ... admittedly quite preoccupied with some matters. I should apologize for that, shouldn't I?"

Zheng Yin wasn't quite sure what to make of this. Actually, thinking back now, this statement fit Xin Lan's style of being a lover. Indeed, back then, when they had been together for the first time, he really had paid a lot of attention to him. "I thought that you had become a bit tired of me and even though you were back, you couldn't quite focus. Now it turns out that there was something else."

Xin Lan gave another hum. "There really was something else." In fact, there was mostly another person but that didn't seem like the best thing to say in this situation considering that Zheng Yin sounded slightly jealous. Not that he thought that Zheng Yin hadn't caught on already. This youth was pretty perceptive. That was one of the things he had originally liked about him.

Xin Lan kept quiet for a while and then reached up, his fingers trailing over his mask. "Have you ever wondered why I wear a mask?"

Zheng Yin blinked his eyes, not quite sure where that was suddenly coming from. Could it be that this had something to do with the matter that was worrying Xin Lan? Well, he would find out soon enough. "To say that I have actually thought about it would be wrong. But I do have my guesses.

"In any case, you are a handsome man but not a vain person. I wouldn't expect you to wear that mask just to add some mysterious charm to your person. Anyway, whether it is in the dragon realm or in the spiritual beasts' territory, you don't need to. Your identity alone is able to do that. So the mask is probably there to hide what is beneath. And judging by the scars on your body, I would think that you were disfigured."

He couldn't help but brush over Xin Lan's chest, thinking of all the scars that marked the skin beneath. Actually, whether it was the dragons or the spiritual beasts, scars weren't something to feel ashamed of.

Yes, having them on your face might be awkward but in general, they were a sign that you had been in many fights and that you had survived all of them. It was proof of strength in a certain way. That wasn't something to hide unless it was really severe. As for how severe it was for Xin Lan to constantly hide it ... he could only imagine.

Xin Lan looked at him and couldn't help but wonder if Hua Lin Yu had ever pondered this issue before asking him to take the mask off that night. He probably hadn't. It was just something that suddenly occurred to him and then he had asked. Which made him wonder ... "Then, would you want to see?" His eyes narrowed when he asked, giving Zheng Yin some pressure.

The spiritual beast tilted his head, wondering what all of this was about. "If you mean if I wouldn't mind seeing, then the answer is no. I would be alright with you taking the mask off if that is what you want to do. If you wanted to ask whether I definitely want to see, then the answer will be no as well.

"I really don't mind either way. I met you when you had this mask on and clearly, it's enchanted to the point where — unless you die — it is unlikely to come off unless you intend it to. So you probably don't want anyone to see. I am alright with that. I'm not one to pry."

Xin Lan gave a hum. "I see." He wasn't sure what else to say. Zheng Yin's gaze told him that he really wasn't all that interested in seeing. He would take a look if he wanted to take off the mask but he wouldn't ask for it either if he didn't. It really was that simple.

Actually, this might be a sign of maturity that Hua Lin Yu had lacked. And it did make him wonder why he hadn't fallen in love with a person like this. Maybe he really just always wanted the things he couldn't have.

Zheng Yin was here, he was willing, and they were quite compatible physically. This relationship ... it might hold for some time. And yet, he really wasn't interested in going further than they already had. Making this official, giving it any kind of name, marrying him, those weren't things he was interested in. Not with him anyway. It was actually a pity.

Zheng Yin also continued to look at him, not knowing what was going on in Xin Lan's head. "So, why are you suddenly asking about this? Did something happen?" That would explain why Xin Lan had suddenly come back. Maybe something had upset him and he had wanted a familiar place to stay. It wouldn't be completely unthinkable.

Xin Lan gave another hum and then pulled him closer. "Actually, do we need to talk about this? Because right now, I'm not sure if I want to and there are many other things that we could do that would be much more enjoyable."

Zheng Yin nodded and reached out, putting his hands on Xin Lan's shoulders. "They would be. But if we stop now, just to amuse ourselves, then do you think that you will ever solve your situation? Because pushing it away isn't really going to achieve anything, is it?"