Oh. My. Fate?! (Bl, Volume 10, Part 1)

44 Not for the Time Being

Jing Yi also looked up at him, completely stunned. He had no idea how Qiu Ling had suddenly come up with that idea. "Why would you think so?"

Qiu Ling's gaze darted around, not sure what to say. "Well, you suddenly repeated it like that."

Jing Yi shook his head, still feeling odd about it. "No, that was just ... I was just confused. Anyway, do you really want to discuss this out here?" He looked up and down the corridor as if to see if somebody else was around.

He really didn't want to be heard discussing with the dragon king whether they should have a child or not. Getting married was one thing but he somehow felt that if they discussed children in the public, there might be some unintended consequences that he didn't want to be stuck with.

Qiu Ling also realized that the current situation wasn't quite appropriate and hurriedly walked the rest of the way to the room, opening the door for Jing Yi to go in and then closing it behind them with a sigh of relief.

He rubbed his forehead and then paced up and down in the room, not sure how to put into words what he had thought. He couldn't come up with anything satisfying no matter how he thought though. "Anyway, what was it that you wanted to say?" He finally stopped in his tracks, turning back to Jing Yi. He should let him explain first before he made more out of the matter than it really was.

Jing Yi looked around the room and then went to sit down on the edge of the bed, trying to sort his own feelings on the matter. "Well, originally, I got to know Leng Jin Yu as a senior martial brother in the Yun Zou Sect. I thought he was just a few years older than me. And even though we spend a millennium in that dimension back at the sect, I don't actually feel that old.

"You know, most of my time down there was spent cultivating. I didn't make that many experiences. So, getting married is one thing. It is something I looked forward to for a lot of years. I'm ready for it. But I wouldn't be ready for a child. And I'm really surprised that Leng Jin Yu is. I just wouldn't have thought. It would be just as weirded out if Xiao Dong suddenly told me that he wanted to have one."

Qiu Ling calmed down when he heard that explanation. Right, Jing Yi didn't see Leng Jin Yu in the same way that he did. He should have realized that Jing Yi wouldn't actually be thinking about having children. That wouldn't have made any sense at all.

He went to sit down at the table but wasn't sure how to continue from there. Things were still awkward between them so this kind of honest discussion about their feelings felt weird. In the end, he tried to just focus on Leng Jin Yu and Jinde instead. "Leng Jin Yu was never really of your generation. From the beginning, he was already an ascended deity by the time you met. He must have lived several millennia as a human before that. I'm not sure how old he actually is in this life.

"And then, he recently also regained memories of his past life as my father. So that is two lifetimes that were both pretty long. He definitely doesn't see himself as young. He probably thinks of himself as the same age that Jinde is."

Jing Yi nodded. "I know that. I mean, I know that in theory. It just feels weird." But come to think of it, he had to get used to this. People weren't as old as they looked. He had known that in the mortal realm already because he himself had lived much longer than actually showed on his face as had most people around him.

Speaking of which ... He looked up at Qiu Ling and couldn't help but become worried. "What about you? You've also lived quite long. Do you want a child?"

Qiu Ling shook his head. "I ..." He had wanted to say 'I didn't even think about that with Jing He' but he hurriedly swallowed that thought. Instead, he just tried to think about why hadn't done so.

"I didn't grow up that happily. So I think that a child should never be born into a situation that isn't stable. The two of us, I don't think we have that yet. And even after we've been married, we wouldn't get there for a long time.

"Even with Leng Jin Yu and Jinde, I'm not sure if it is really the right time yet. There are still so many things that could go wrong. If it was me, I would still wait. But I understand why they long for it.

"Anyway, children aren't something that is on my plan anytime soon. That just seems like a bad idea. If you're asking if I generally want one though, then the answer is yes. Family ... is important to me and I do want to have one of my own in the future."

When Jing Yi looked at him, he couldn't help but feel even younger. He had never thought about children. And even when he tried to look in the future by several years, he still didn't think that this would be right for him.

For a moment, he couldn't help but wonder if Jing He would be different but he hastily pushed the thought away. He couldn't continue to compare the two of them. He had to pretend that Jing He didn't exist. That was the only way to get out of this situation somewhat sane.

He gulped and then forced a smile. "Well, it's good that you're not thinking about it anytime soon them. That would be difficult." Come to think of it, wouldn't it be difficult between them anyway considering they were both men? But then, Qiu Ling was a dragon and there were strange things in the immortal realms. He wouldn't be that surprised if there was a way to have children here. He didn't dare to ask about it though, not really wanting to know the details about something that he didn't intend to have any part in for the time being.

The two of them fell quiet, the atmosphere in the room getting even more awkward. Really, even though they had talked things out somewhat and had decided on the path ahead, that hadn't been able to heal what had happened. Most likely, nothing would ever be able to fully do that. So for now, they could only try to ignore the issue and pretend it had never existed. Which ... probably wasn't that good of an idea either but what were they supposed to do?