Just a little feeling.

: 9 :

Okuyasu Nijimura . .

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I slid down the door of my bedroom. I looked ahead of me as I was expecting to be surprised by something that would make me feel better or atleast happy. I felt my lip quiver, as my eyes began to blur over. Crocodile tears ran down my face as I clenched my teeth in irritation. Fuck! God why am I so emotional! And I don't even know over what! I slammed my palms on the floor underneath me as I ignored the burning pain springing back.

Forcing my hands back up to hold my heavy head that felt like two hundred pounds, the tears didn't stop as they continued to pour with no sign of stopping.

I should of stayed home. I know my limits. I wonder what my bro would think of me now. Still weak and dependent on others, I've been trying more than enough to stray away from everyone. But they all keep coming to me and bothering me. Allowing my head to rest on my elevated knees, my hands intertwined with the loose fabric of my school uniform pants.

Focusing on myself was more hard than I thought..

--

My eyes shot open as I didn't realize I fell asleep for a good while. no more than possibly an hour and fifteen minutes, my eyes stung as I forgot I had cried myself to sleep again my bedroom door. Nothing had interrupted me this time, but I can only imagine it was just my body begging me to awake.

I arose to both my feet, and opening the door to peak out into the hallway. As my eyes landed on the empty dark space of where my father resided in, taking my first step out my room. Walking quietly to the flight of stairs and making my way to the closed door.

Hesitation caught me at last minute while my hand hovered over the door knob. I cleared my throat as my eyebrows furrowed. "Hey Dad, it's me. Your son." feeling the strain in my voice hurt me more than emotionally. Opening the door I was greeted by my father sitting on his own dirty mattress though it was better then him being chained up and forced to sleep on the floor.

A squeal echoed through as I watched my own Pa scurry over to my direction sniffing me out for dinner. "Sorry Dad, I didn't get a chance to make food yet. I'll figure something out soon, I was wondering if I could borrow something."