Turn My Grief To Grace

"i'm so tired miss deluca"

Maya a struggling student, and Carina, the most loving teacher.

Carina Deluca

The first term of my new teaching job was going exceptionally well. Who knew that Seattle's school district were so keen on teaching languages to their high school students. For years I'd been working as a private tutor in LA, teaching kids at private schools Italian. My second job was a biology teacher in a middle school in Boston, but after finding my dream apartment in Seattle, for me and my dog, I was happy to be settling into a new school that valued my language and paid well.

The kids were an eclectic mix, that's for sure. I wasn't working at a private school, but it was located in a nice area of Seattle, and naturally, the kids were better off than some I'd come across in Boston. I hated that I found this job easier, my heart breaking with the poverty I witnessed before, but in this job I could focus on the teaching, and not acting as a social worker. Well- I thought I could.

Maya Bishop. One of my 9th graders. I always had a soft spot for freshman. The 14 year olds looked lost in the huge buildings they found themselves in, and I liked my classroom to be a safe space for them.
I was lucky enough to be Maya's home room teacher. She arrived on the first day of school with a rucksack bigger than her, the neatest French braids I have ever seen, and sporting her middle schools track team kit. I knew she'd won the meet. Miss Bishop was the athlete that everyone in the school district knew- the then thirteen year old who beat a senior in the 200m.

I watched her on that first day as she decided to sit away from the other students, even the other track stars who'd moved up to freshman with her.

"I want you all to see my classroom as a safe space." I said in our first Italian class, which Maya was also in. Top set I might add.
"You can come to me if you have any issues and I will do my absolute best to support you. No matter what it is, no matter if you think it's silly."

"Good work today Maya." I tapped the blonde child on the shoulder as she exited the class. I took notice of the little jolt that travelled through her body when I made contact with her. Despite stepping back from me, she smiled at the praise.

"Thankyou Miss Deluca."

"What class do you have now?"

"English. With Mrs Altman." I chuckled at the girls evident sigh. Mrs Altman was a boring teacher, even I could admit.

"It'll be over in an hour Maya. See you tomorrow."

I was right to have taken an interest in Maya that first day of school. It was a month into term, though, when my concerns really started growing. The 14 year old was very smart. I'd heard there'd been talk of moving her up a year. However, Maya's work in my class had steadily began to decline. I asked other teachers if they'd seen the same in the girl, but they were only surprised to see their star student wasn't performing in Italian.
That week, I kept her behind.

"Maya, I need you to stay please." I said.

"I have English." She looked back to the door in panic. Maya was a student who hated getting in trouble. She was the student who'd tell the class to stop talking. She liked everyone to follow the rules to a T.

"It's okay." I soothed with a smile, guiding the child to sit at my desk. "I'll email Mrs Altman, you won't be in trouble."

I expected Maya to just nod, but she didn't.

"You sure?" Maya asked in a small voice, with tears filling her eyes. The girl steeled herself though, biting her lip to regain control of her emotions.

"I promise Maya. No one will yell at you."

"My grades are bad huh? That's why I have to stay behind."