Turn My Grief To Grace

"i know"

The Sister House. Circa Season 12.

Trigger warning for Eating Disorders!

Maggie Pierce

The suspicion starts suddenly.

"Are you worried about her?" I ask Meredith over breakfast. Amelia isn't here, which is really no surprise. She tends to head to work early. Anything to not sit at a table with us and eat.

"I am," Meredith admits slowly. "I've been worried about that girl since the day I met her."

"You didn't like her," I point out, stabbing one piece of pancake for me, and a forkful of strawberry for little Ellis, the blonde baby on my lap.

"I've always liked her."

"You've always loved her. You've never liked her."

"That's true," Meredith chuckles slightly, reminiscing all the times Amelia pissed her off, and all the reasons behind those times. Her face shifts from humorous remembrance to something more solemn. Something that's obviously conflicting her, judging by the rapid eye movement and indecisive quirks of her lip.

"I think I do love her," Meredith sadly smiles and nodding. "She's Derek. She's everything Derek warned me about. I don't think I've honoured him."

"He's with you everyday Mer," I reassure, but it seems futile, with Meredith's mind obviously elsewhere. I didn't get to know Derek as well as my colleagues, but I have lost people. Meredith and I have that in common. That alone should be reassuring.

"He said something to me. Made me think. Still makes me think."

"What did he say?"

"Look out for my Amy, because she won't ask for help," Meredith recites.

"You think she needs... help?"

"When's the last time you've seen that girl eat something other than salad or black coffee."

"She had a muffin the other day," I point out.

"Whose to say she didn't throw it up."

"Meredith. Not in front of the kids," I halt her, very aware of Zola's talent of looking like she's not listening when she is. That little baby is so smart. She exceeds us all.

"I just... ugh okay."

I suggest spending some more time with Amelia. One on one perhaps. We haven't seen her recently. She's been massively caught up with her work in paediatrics with Dr Robbins, and has now taken on Nicole Herman's inoperable tumour. Something tells me she is using surgery as a distraction, but hey, don't we all? That girl is like a machine when it comes to surgeries. She can stand for hours. She'd stand and cut for days if there was a surgery long enough.

"Let's have a sister lunch," I propose.

I find Meredith chuckling wryly and shaking her head.

"I'm telling you, she won't like it."

"Let Amelia prove herself."

Meredith being Meredith took my idea very literally. The same day, in the cafeteria, she corners Amelia. I was thinking more of a cute little cafe for brunch on our day off but hey ho. I shoot our sister an apologetic smile before she's subjected to Meredith's less than sympathetic grilling.

"Amelia, sit your ass down,"Meredith says with a Boston bite that is rarely heard.

"Meredith I have a consult!"

Amelia has the body language of a child. Our chosen table is in the corner of the cafeteria, allowing Amelia to back herself up and feel the comfort of two walls enveloping her. Her arms are crossed and defensive, and her chin is jutted out, She's spiky, like she's trying to warn us off.