Someone Like You

5

Warnings:
-Physical/emotional (child) abuse
-Self harm (cutting+blood)

Clay's POV

I ran home after school to have some time for myself before I had to go to my girlfriend. I hoped my sister was at home, because I drew something and I wanted to show it to her.

I slowed down when I was closer to my house and opened the door very quietly so I wouldn't make my dad mad if he would be at home.

I walked in with the drawing in my hands and wanted to sneak up the stairs as I heard footsteps coming closer to me, almost sounding like they were sneaking up to me.

⚠️ Physical/emotional (child) abuse

I breathed out and turned around to see my dad stand in front of me. I pressed my back against the wall and hid the drawing behind me as he grinned, grabbed my shoulders and then pushed me onto the floor with a very easy motion.

I fell onto my stomach and he grabbed both my hands, holding them on my back as he looked at the drawing. I drew an eye today in art class and I really liked the result, but all my pride disappeared when my dad ripped it apart and threw the pieces through the room.

I didn't reply to the action because I didn't want to seem weak. Instead, I stared at the floor while I fought against the pain inside. He stepped on my back and put a lot of pressure which caused me to feel breathless.

He scoffed and kicked the side of my chest, rolling me to my back. He lifted me up and pushed me against the wall again, looking me in my eyes with terrifyingly angry eyes. His hands went up to my shoulders.

He started shaking my body so my head got slammed against the wall. Then he lifted his hand up into a fist and punched me into my face. He put his foot behind mine and then kicked both my feet away which caused me to fall down on the floor with a painful impact.

I winced softly as he lifted me up again, hitting me in my face with his knuckles one more time before picking me up and carrying me to the door with the stairs behind it that led upstairs.

He opened the door and threw me onto the floor which caused me to lay down for a few seconds. He walked off and slammed the door behind him as I lifted myself up slowly.

⚠️ Over

I couldn't hold back my tears anymore and I crawled up the stairs as I went to my room and locked the door behind me. Tears covered my whole face while I tried to hold back my sobs so I wouldn't be too loud.

I hitched a breath as I continued crying and then lifted myself up slowly, reaching out to go to my desk. I couldn't think clearly anymore and pulled my hoodie off, throwing it onto the floor out of anger.

I just wanted to show my dad or sister one drawing, I just wanted one compliment or sign of appreciation. Instead of that I got used as his personal boxing bag while I was a living human being with feelings.

⚠️ Self harm (cutting+blood)

I grabbed my blade from my desk and ignored all the previous cuts, putting it on my skin to cut myself deeply and the most painful way. When I realised my arm didn't hurt enough, I pulled my shirt off too and cut my chest too.

⚠️ Over (still mentions)

I was actually breaking apart. I tried to hold on for so long but I hated myself so much. I wanted to be kind to George and I HATED myself for being mean to him. I didn't want to be mean, but I couldn't stop myself anymore after being so incredibly hurt by my dad for years.

At first it was fine, he hit me sometimes but it didn't cause bruises or wounds. When he got rougher, he kept going just as long as he was sure I couldn't walk anymore the next few days. That was when I also started cutting myself, I knew it was bad but I didn't see a reason to stop anymore. No one genuinely liked me anyway...

~~~

After I hurt myself for ten more minutes, I waited for it to stop bleeding which took a while. When it finally stopped, I pulled my hoodie back on and went to the bathroom.

I grabbed my axe body spray and sprayed it on me as I stared in the mirror. My cheek was already bruised so I would have to make up an excuse to my girlfriend that I had to leave early to hide the bruises.

My girlfriend didn't really know I got abused. I guess she never asked either, but she knew about my bruises since she had seen them a lot. She also knew about my cuts, but she didn't care much about them. To make it even worse, she was one of the reasons I cut myself next to my father and me being a dick at school.

I cleaned myself up and slowly walked downstairs. My dad's face lifted up immediately and he glared at me.

'I'm going to my girlfriend,' I whispered, scared he'd stand up and beat me up again.

Luckily he just nodded and I left the house before he could do anything bad to me. I just wished I would go to a safe place now, a happy place where I could find my comfort now I needed it a lot, but no... it was just as bad there as it was here at home.

It felt like I had to carry a stone while I walked to her house, I really didn't want to go but then the whole school would know. For some reason she always had a reason that made me feel obligated to go to her place. I didn't know what she would say if I didn't... What if she told anyone about my cuts or my bruises? No one could know that I wasn't as cool as I acted at school.

I took a very deep breath as I rang the bell at her house, secretly hoping she wouldn't open the door. Unfortunately she did and immediately took me inside without even greeting me.

1066 words