Someone Like You

12

Warnings:
-Mentions physical (child) abuse
-Mentions self harm (wounds)

George's POV

Clay laid in my arms like a ball and tried to roll to his back as he winced. 'Stupid bruises...'

'Do you want me to take care of them?' I asked as he rolled back to his side that didn't hurt, looking up at me with a sad face. 'Sorry, I didn't want to make you sad. You were just kind of the guy who used to brag about your body so I didn't think you'd mind much if I just took care of bruises on your chest.'

'It's not you... or that,' he whispered. 'I don't do that anymore, I don't really like to show my body that much. Only uh- well... to my girlfriend, I guess.'

'It's fine, you don't have to. I just wanted to cool them and make sure you're okay.'

He smiled shortly. 'You know- uh... it's alright, but... it's fine.'

He laid on his stomach and lifted his hoodie up, which revealed five big bruises on his back and the sides of his chest.

'Alright, I'm getting some ice, okay?' I smiled. 'Do you have more on your chest?'

He rolled himself to his back and then I saw him getting startled really badly. He immediately turned back around to his stomach, but I already saw why he was so startled. 'What was that?' I asked him, talking about the multiple red lines on his chest.

'Can we not talk about that?' he mumbled as he pushed his hoodie down again. 'Please?'

'I'm uh... grabbing ice,' I whispered as I slowly walked away. Would his dad have done that? Or... did he cut himself?

I kept walking downstairs to go to the freezer, but I couldn't turn my thoughts off anymore. Obviously I didn't wish Clay's dad would have done that to him, but I really hoped he didn't cut himself. It was such a stupid addiction and so hard to get rid off...

I grabbed the ice and went back upstairs as I thought back about the mental thing falling on the floor and the toilet paper on Clay's wrist in the bathroom. Would he actually cut? Or was it an old wound his dad caused that started bleeding again?

I decided to leave it for a little and I walked back upstairs to Clay. He looked at me slowly, still laying on his stomach. I smiled to make him comfortable and sat on the edge of my bed, lifting his hoodie to lay the ice on it.

He kept looking at me and smiled. 'Thank you for taking care of me. I sometimes go to my mother, then she helps me, but I haven't been there in a long while.'

'What caused that?' I asked, laying down next to him.

He breathed out and shrugged. 'Guess I'm not allowed to go.'

I nodded slowly. 'I'm sorry to hear that. I wish I could help you in any way... you know, you're actually such a chill guy. I wish you could be happy yourself too, but it's stupid that people are always out there to ruin your life.'

He lifted himself up a tiny bit and laid his hand under his head as he nodded slowly. 'And I was the one to ruin yours,' he mumbled.

'It's fine, I don't see it like that. Sapnap ruined my life more than you did. I forgave you for what you've done, I know it's just a mask to hide your pain.'

'Sometimes it feels like everyone is against me, even my own brain. I act quicker than I think and then end up regretting it afterwards. Such as the things I said and did, I wish I could turn the time back...'

I laid with him and grabbed his hand that was under his head. 'It's fine, I'm okay and I forgave you. I didn't forgive Sapnap, he said really hurtful things that still haunt me every day.'

'What's haunting you?' Clay whispered, pulling me closer.

'That I'm worthless and fat and that I should just kill myself,' I answered. 'I guess those are the things that hurt me the most. It's stupid anyway, I shouldn't listen to it.'

He sighed softly. 'I just really regret ever doing the same thing as he did. You're a great guy honestly.'

I smiled at what he said. 'No one ever called me great so it makes me so happy that you said that. Did that sound like self pity, because I didn't mean to.'

'It didn't,' Clay answered with a smile. 'And it's true. You are great.'

His eyes stood so soft and sweet, but still filled with so much hidden pain that he had never told anyone. I could see that his smile wasn't genuine, he was breaking.

'Clay?' I started. 'I know you didn't want to talk about this, but I do want to say something.'

He nodded slowly as I sighed softly.

'If you harm yourself, you're not alone. Remember that I care a lot about you, even when it doesn't feel like anyone cares about you, okay?'

'Alright... I don't harm myself, though,' he mumbled with a very quiet and lying voice.

'You're not alone, Clay. I guess it's better to talk about it,' I sighed. 'Even though it's difficult.'

He turned quiet and looked away from me, having his face turn red as he played with his sleeves. I knew he was waiting for me to talk again and I rolled myself to my back, looking up at my light grey ceiling.

'Since it's probably better to open up... I sometimes uh- self harm. You're not alone, you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, but you're actually not alone.'

'You self harm?' he mumbled as he lifted himself up, lifting his hand up to my cheek. 'George, you're beautiful. It's stupid to tell someone to just quit because of whatever reason, but I do want to say that I care and that I'm sorry for what I've done to you.'

I smiled. 'I guess it kind of feels relieving that someone knows now.'

'I'm glad you trusted me. I- there's... I just don't have the courage yet to tell you everything. Is that okay with you?'

'It is,' I answered. 'But do remember that you're not alone if you self harm.'

1056 words