Warnings:
-Mentions sexual assault/rape (a lot)Clay's POV
After self harming in the bathroom and then bumping into George who talked to me, I felt a bit better than I did before. He made me feel safe around him even though I had always been a dick when he was around. I hoped he would forgive me and I wished to slowly get closer to him.
I sat with Sapnap in class as he smirked at me. 'What did you actually do with your girlfriend yesterday?' he grinned which immediately made my mood switch to the saddest one I had in ages. I stared at my hands and shrugged.
'I mean, just the usual,' I answered, trying to act cocky.
'Oh, come on. You're not telling me you just slept, right? Tell me, dude. Did you have sex?'
'Yeah, we did,' I replied to him, trying to make my voice secure.
Sapnap wheezed and pushed my shoulder. 'How often?'
'Once, dumbass. We just did it once and then we fell asleep.' I rolled my eyes. 'You're such a horny teen.'
He scoffed and playfully hit my shoulders which caused me to get upset because I thought about my dad again who hit me all the time. I ignored the thought as three of my other friends turned around to me.
'Dude, when was the last time you and your girlfriend did it?' they asked with a wheeze after that.
I felt really uncomfortable now and I stared down at the table, tapping my fingers on it as I sniffed softly. They really thought I enjoyed doing it with her, but I never liked a single time that we did it, I always wished it would be over as fast as possible.
It was breaking me that they asked this to me and I ended up ignoring them since the teacher started speaking and basically saved me.
No one talked to me during the rest of that class and I stood up as fast as I could, speeding up to go to my art class. I was almost running at this point and saw George sit in front of the door of art already.
I wanted to run up to him as my whole friend group caught up to me. 'Clay, dumbass! You don't keep secrets for your friends,' one of my friends laughed loudly. 'When is the last time you had sex with your girlfriend, idiot?'
I stared at my hands and then at George who was looking at me with a pretty worried face. I looked away again and pressed my back against the wall, biting the insides of my lip very hard so I wouldn't burst out into tears.
'Uh- yesterday was the last time.'
All my friends started laughing as they grabbed my shoulders. 'Come on, is she good, dude? Does she also blow you?'
I was extremely uncomfortable, but I knew I had to act like I was completely fine. I sighed deeply and put my mask back on, smiling in a cocky way. 'I mean, yeah she's good and obviously she blows me, dumbass. Do you think I want her if she wouldn't even know how to blow a guy?'
One of them laughed very loudly as he pushed my shoulder with a grin. 'So you also finger her?'
My face turned red from embarrassment and I remembered her grabbing my hand and forcing me to do that to her while I wasn't ready for that at all.
I glanced at George again who was now looking at his phone, but not doing anything on it. He was just sitting in silence as he listened to our conversation and I quickly looked back up.
'Yeah, I do,' I mumbled, trying my hardest to sound cocky and cool for them, but my energy to keep the mask on was getting less and less.
'I bet you still watch porn and masturbate next to that, you're such a horny guy,' Sapnap grinned.
Never, I never watched anything and I never touched myself. I hated it, I despised it after everything that happened and I never felt the need to. I lost all my interest in sexual things after being abused by my dad and used by my girlfriend in a sexual way.
'Yeah, obviously,' I answered instead with a fake grin on my face. If they kept asking things, I knew I was going to break. One more question and I would burst out into tears, run off and never show myself again.
No one noticed that I was breaking, but George. He looked at me and smiled shortly which made me smile back at him. He started typing something on his phone and then I heard a buzz sound in my pocket. I grabbed my phone and smiled as I read George's message.
George
Remember that you can always talk to me, I'd never ask these dumb questions and I would listen to your feelings instead. I sit alone with art, you can always sit next to me if you want to. It's fine if you don't because of your friends :)I read the message again and put my phone away before anyone could see it. My friend laughed at me. 'Message from your girlfriend?'
'Sort of,' I answered quietly, looking at George from the corner of my eyes. He smiled again and looked back at his phone to act like nothing happened.
'Don't we have this assignment today?' Sapnap suddenly questioned.
I nodded as an answer and he looked at us. 'We are with five, though. One of us will most likely have to go with that nerd.'
He pointed at George and I sighed softly as I was trying to get all my courage together. I breathed out and then looked at Sapnap. 'It's fine, I'll go with him.'
No one even minded because they were celebrating that they weren't together with George which hurt me but George even more. I ignored their stupid behaviour and sat down next to him with a smile.
'Ignore them,' I whispered. 'They just have an IQ that's lower than a rock's IQ.'
He giggled softly as I smiled at him. 'Thank you for sticking up for me. Well, sort of.'
I shrugged. 'I should have said way more, but I didn't have the courage to. I'm sorry.'
'It's fine, I'm already happy with this.'
1061 words
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