Their's ( Evannsons twins)

Chapter one hundred and two

Rhislett's POV

( trigger warning ⚠️ )

We ate pizza and talked for a while until Maria and Cassie had to head home with the boys. Lizzie went into her room to talk to Robbie while Harry and Chris cleaned maybe this was my chance to talk to Scarlett. She was cleaning in the kitchen with the boys and I walked in " hey erm can I borrow Scarlett?" And they all turned towards me. Chris looked happy  and so did Harry and Scarlett looked worried. " yep take her" Chris said she turned to glare at him. She came towards me with a smile and I smiled back " can I talk to you in my room?" And she nodded. She was fidgeting with her hand at least i know where I got that habit from. She hadn't spoken which was worrying me. One of us had to start this conversation.

We got into my room and I took a deep breath. I had a village. No matter how this conversation goes I have people who love Me.

" we have to talk Scarlett" I said turning around and she nodded. " I know. I wanted to talk to you actually anyway." And I nodded and I sat on the bed. She came and sat across me and I laughed " I don't even know how to start" I said and she furrowed her eyebrows. " then just take this slow. Don't hold back." And I nodded " why did you bring us here?" I said looking up at her. If we had to do this then we can start this easy at least. " I saw you're laptop open the other night. I wasn't snooping I swear I just saw it and I know you miss home. And I've been a terrible mother to you. I thought this may make you feel a little better." And I nodded " I- it I don't feel like you love me." I said closing my eyes. God I sounded like a child but that's what it is. I don't know how else to phrase it. I felt her take my hand and I opened my eyes. She had tears in her eyes " that's- is that how I've made you feel?" And I nodded " it's not just you per say. I. It's a lot. I don't know how to say this without saying everything because I'm not ready for that." And she nodded " okay. Then just listen to me. I love you. I love you so much baby and you're what makes my world turn. I don't know how to describe the love I feel for you. I- I gave you guys up and that's was my fault. I gave up. When I lost you there was no reason to get up. And then I had rose and I tried to move past it all but it wasn't the same. I felt so guilty about that but I was told that it was okay. I ruined any chance of you trusting me. And I can't apologise enough but I'm here to listen and talk to you because I promise I'd do anything to make you happy." I felt tears running down my face. " I feel like I don't belong. Like I wake up and I shouldn't be here. I've grown up being told I wasn't good enough and that's how I think. I just wanted you mama but you weren't there" and she pulled me into her lap and hugged me. She kept whispering apologies into my hair while rocking me back and forward. "You can tell me anything baba okay? I know there's more but just what you want." And I nodded " I grew up fast. I kind of had too. I don't wanna stalk about why. Not yet at least but i still have nightmares about it sometimes just not as much as before. I-it got bad. I didn't feel anything I was just numb and it helped make me feel something. I did it to punish myself for not stopping it." And she listened to me ramble I was sure I wasn't making any sense. " what did you do baby? I won't be mad I just want you to tell me." She said while running her hands threw my hair. I sighed so this was gonna be coming out. " I erm self harmed for abit." And I felt her stop. I tried to get up so I could leave but she held onto me. " hey sweet pea I'm here. Okay I'm listening whatever you wanna tell me okay I'm here with you. I'm not mad at you" and She wiped my tears. " have you done it recently baby?" And I shook my head. " I erm stopped when I knew it wasn't good for me. I did use a razor at first but it left marks and erm well aunt Maria and Cassie saw and sat me down. They talked to me and I did wanna stop I promise mama" and she nodded with me holding my head against her own. " I just I felt nothing. All I had going round in my head was that no one wanted me and that I was just in the way. I couldn't stop. And I started to do it with a pencil. It was sharp enough to leave a temporary mark and it hurt but nothing bled. I didn't tell them because I knew they'd be upset with me. I told them when they noticed I stopped eating." And she stroked my face " you stopped eating?" And I nodded " I did. I erm would make myself sick at first but I guess my body knew better then my mind because I couldn't after abit. That's when I stopped eating. That's why Harry always checks what I've eaten." And she gave me a small smile " I just thought he was being greedy" and I gave her a watery chuckle. " when did this all happen sweet girl?" And I frowned " I was 10" I whispered and I saw the pain cross her face. She had a tear roll down her face and now I've upset her too. " I'm sorry" and I think that snapped her back to reality " no baby girl don't say sorry. I'm sorry for not being there. I'm you're mother and I've let you down. I'm not mad okay I just wanna be there for you. I'm sorry I didn't protect you" and I frowned I mean i don't mean tell her about mr Williams what if she thinks I'm broken. I mean I am but I don't wanna hear it. " what's on you're mind baba?" And I frowned again " there's more but I don't wanna talk about it tonight." And she nodded " im proud of you for telling me. I erm I haven't told anyone this really just matka and Lizzie know but I stopped eating just before rose was born. I don't like saying it's an eating disorder. But I made myself really unwell because I let peoples words get to me. You my beautiful baby girl are everything. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I'll always remind you of that. You can tell me anything and we can work threw it together." And I smiled at her. " am I forgiven?" She asked and I raised an eyebrow " almost" and she nodded " pinky promise me you won't hurt me again mama." And she gave me her pinky " I'll do you one better I pinky promise that whenever you need me night or day I'll be by you're side. If it's ankght made or you feel over whelmed or you need someone to talk to baby I'm here. I'd never chuck anything you tell me in you're face. I promise I'll do my best and I'll love you and be the mother you deserve. And I hope you can eventually tell me everything but in you're own time" and I nodded and smiled while she kissed my cheek. " I'm sat in you're lap like a 5 year old" and she laughed but didn't make any move to get up. " I like this. We have a lot of time to make up for and that includes you being a child. Never apologise or think anything else. I love any time I get to spend with you." And I couldn't help but let the tear escape. She pulled me into her more and I just laid there listening to her breath. Which is creepy but so calming.

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Mr Williams is a bastard

I got in my feels and well I couldn't handle writing the abuse too so we just gonna have to wait till I can.

Remember to drink water
And give you're eyes a break

And don't forget my messages are always open if you need some support.

Till the next chapter my loves❣️