love, always

Chapter 13

13.

My family won’t be there with me.

My family won’t be there with me.

My family won’t be there with me.

OH SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

Just shut up Haley for god’s sake, because I can’t take the pain anymore that my family are gone forever. For good. Who the hell is this Zan anyway? I don’t even know her so why do I trust her? Why?

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Why did have to be?

What did I do wrong?

Stop asking questions Haley you’re getting just as bad as her.

Just think of something else.

At least I’ll have my Dad.

No, something else.

Something else, something else...

“Haley.”

Okay, that wasn’t your signal to come along.

“Get up.”

You what?

“No jokes anymore, I’m asking you to get up,”

Oh!

“No, I’m telling you to get up,”

Ooooh.

“No. Do it. Get up. Haley, no jokes, no nothing.”

And what if I said no?

“I aint going to give you no sop story. Life is hard and life id tough and like it or not, you and our family got caught up in a car crash...boo hoo...your mum brother and sister died...boo hoo...now het up and get on with it.”

And I ‘aint’ getting up.

“I you don’t get up you will die,”

At least I’ll be with them.

“It’s what they will want.”

It’s not what I want.

“Fine then. Don’t get up. But I will tell you the next part of the story. Okay? Right. Picture it in your head. No arguing. Partly because you can’t talk and also because I’m gonna say it anyway,”

Oh you just stepped over the line.

“Picture it...”

***I woke up with an achy head, in fact I’m aching all over, and sore. What happened yesterday?

Am I in Tunisia?

No I’m in the hospital.

“Hello Haley? How are you doing?”

“What?”

“You were in a car crash Haley...”

“A car crash?”

“Yes, I’m sorry Haley...”

“But I don’t understand, am I in Tunisia?”

“No, again I’m sorry, you were on your way to Tunisia but I’m afraid you were involved in a nasty car crash and your still in England...”

“The  van!”

“Yes, the van, I’m so sorry Haley...”

“Who are you? Where are mum and Dad and Megan and Josh? Did they manage to wake Josh up, he fell unconscious,”

“I’m the nurse Haley, Nurse Olive, and I think you had better come with me...”

So she took me just outside the ward, where Dad was waiting for me, his arm in a cast and bruises and stiches all over him...

“Dad!”

I ran up and gave him a massive hug, and he hugged me back.

“You’re all broken!”

“You’re worse than me...”

I stood back and stared at myself in the mirror, I couldn’t believe it! I had bandages all over my head and under the bandages was too stitched up cuts. Both my hands and my leg were bandaged up to, my hands had burns on and my leg had cuts on it. The worst burns and slits were covered but I looked an absolute state! I stood there tears rolling down my cheeks, sniffing and crying “Dad!”

“I know my sweet, I know...”

“Where’s mum? Megan Josh..Dad? Are they in other wards or what? Can we go there please?”

“Umm, Haley...”

“What? What? What happened, I don’t even remember, are we in Tunisia?”

“Oh Haley!” Dad sobbed, he knelt down on his and let the tears run freely.

“Please tell me you remember Haley? Pleease...i don’t think I can go through the pain of telling someone...”

“Dad? I’m sorry, I’ll try to remember, there was a van and..and...” I couldn’t finish because my head was hurting and my ears were popping and the tears that fell down the side of my nose and that cam slashing down my cheeks wouldn’t let me.

“Yes...yes! you remember don’t you?” he managed to say through the pain and the sobs and the salty fat tears that came rushing down like a waterfall.

“I think so...I, but, I, don’t know, when?”

The nurse had her arm round me and Dad who, I had joined him on the floor and he put his arm over me and I could feel my shirt going soggy with tear stains.

“I, you...i can’t say...it’s too painful...”

“Haley, what your Dad is trying to say is...” The Nurse Olive said, but paused trying to find the right way to say it. “Your Mum and siblings, they...they didn’t survive the car crash and-”

“THEY’RE DEAD! THEY’RE GONE!” Dad screamed he was so loud and he wasn’t crying anymore. He was angry, he was fuming.

Was he angry with me? Did I not do enough? Could I have saved them?

“THERE BLOODY DEAD!”

 I backed away into the corner crying, sobbing, my head was aching and my heart was thumping...they were...dead?

I sunk away from Dad, he was acting really scary now and I needed some quiet, away from his sobs and coughs.

I sat in the corner coughing, spluttering, sobbing, crying, almost dying. I said “No,” under my breath a number of times, refusing to believe.

“Dad?”

“Haley!” I stood up and his stare fixed on me, we embraced for a long time.

As I backed away my whole life had just fallen apart and I swear I heard the sound of my heart slat against the wooden floorboards.***