drugs & candy

89

I think the reason why children and pregnancy and motherhood cross my mind so much is because of the maternal generational trauma that I have.

A mother's unresolved trauma may interfere with her ability to sensitively respond to her infant, thus affecting the development of attachment in her own child, and potentially contributing to the intergenerational transmission of trauma.

I had a good childhood.

I have a good relationship with my mother.

But because of my maternal grandmother's drug and alcohol abuse, it has affected no only my mother but me as well.

My mother may not remember her mother and honestly doesn't care about her but I have questions.

I look at my paternal grandmother, my aunt, my cousin and I envy the connection that those three women have.

That must be why I crave motherhood because I want my daughter to have that kind of connection with me and my mother.

Right now it's just mom and I. Her and I against the world.