drugs & candy

27

when i last saw you, high out of my mind, all i wanted to do was be in your arms and drift off to sleep. but when i noticed i was falling asleep, nothing felt real. whatever we were watching in tv sounded drowned out. everything looked like it was covered in a blanket of fog. everything felt like i was in a lucid dream. everything felt too good to be true. i thought that if i woke up, you would be gone. your touch felt real but my mind couldn't process that you were there with me. you wrapped your arms around me to try to convince me that you were real but i pushed you away and said "don't touch me" i spat it out like venom on my tongue. the tears that ran down my cheeks didn't feel real. yet when you said "baby don't cry" only made me sob harder. i remember trying to keep my hand on your skin because that was the only way i could convince myself that you were with me in that moment. thinking back to my freak out always scares me. but i've never been so glad to have been with you that night because eventually calmed down and was able to spend the rest of the night in your arms.