drugs & candy

18

i have never felt this way about someone before. i've never felt such a raw passion for a person and honest to god it terrifies me. i am petrified of my emotions and the things that i could do if i think with my heart instead of my mind. i never realized how much love is inside me. i didn't think i was capable of feeling such an emotion. i thought i wasn't capable of loving someone back. i thought love was something disney made up. i thought "i love you" was just something people said to each other. until you walked straight into my life. you turned it upside down and rearranged it. you dug through old boxes and brought in new ones. you looked at the good parts of me and the bad parts. but instead of trying to throw out my bad parts you took it by the hand, kissed it's forehead and said "i like this too". you have taught me so much. in the short amount of time that i've known you everything has changed. a day feels like a week. a month feels like a year. it almost feels like i've known you my whole life i'm that comfortable around you. when i fall, i fall hard. and right now instead of floating alone out in space, gravity has sucked me in and i am plumbiting to the ground at full speed. there have been nights when i found myself lying awake wondering what the hell was wrong with me. why couldn't i be attracted to someone for more than a couple of weeks? at the time i didn't know i would find someone who would light a fire in my stomach. my biggest fear is that suddenly it'll just turn off. that every feeling that i've ever had for you will go away. i love this feeling you give me. now i've realized i didn't let others in because i was scared of getting hurt. and now my new fear is that you'll suddenly lose interest in me.