Curse Of Love

Chapter 15

I still can't understand what Al has told me. What does he mean by saying that Ziena is just up to something? And if she's really just up to something, what exactly is it? If it's money, she should've asked for it already, but she never did. 
 
So I don't get it. I don't get why Al would say things like that. But knowing him, I know he would never lie to me like that. He's a man I trust. 
 
But Ziena already means something to me, and I can't just believe mere words against her. Fuck! It's already 2:03 in the morning, but I'm still awake, thinking about those things. 
 
Hindi ko na rin nagawang bumalik kanila Ziena dahil sa mga sinabi ni Al. Dahil paano ko siya haharapin kung sinabi sa akin ng matalik kong kaibigan na rapat ko na siyang layuan? Na may gusto lang siyang makuha? 
 
Fuck it. Really. 
 
I took my phone from the table and immediately turned it on. I turned it off yesterday because I don't want to receive any messages from anyone. My mind is too crowded by the thoughts of Ziena and Al. 
 
As soon as I turned it on, several messages popped up. The messages were from Al, Idi, Poldo, Mom, and her—Ziena. I honestly didn't expect a message from her. But I'm somehow happy that she texted me. 
 
It was like, all of those words that Al told me yesterday have vanished, and they don't matter anymore. 
 
In her text, she's asking me if I want to come with them somewhere because Vini wants me to be with them. Was it really Vini who wanted me to come with them, or was it her? Well, I prefer the latter. 
 
I replied to her message, then put my phone back on the table, closed my eyes, and tried to sleep again. This time, my mind is more relaxed. I no longer think about the things Al has told me. I just know that I want to be with Ziena. 
 
Because she makes me happy. 

I saw her walking in my direction. She looks so pale and devasted, like she has suffered so much. She walked faster when she saw me get out of my car, even though it's obvious that she's struggling to walk. She immediately hugged me tight and started crying. 
 
"L-Leo, h-he..." Her voice was trembling, and her body was shaking. 
 
I let go of the hug. "What happened? Tell me what happened," I worriedly asked. 
 
"H-He... M-My.." she can't finish her statement. 
 
I worriedly caressed her cheeks. "Calm down. Tell me what happened."
 
"He raped me, Leo. He took my virginity." 
 
My world seemed to stop, and my mind went blank. 
 
"H-He's strong, Leo. I-I s-swear I tried to fight. I t-tried to push him," she took my right hand and held it tightly while crying so hard. "I-I'm so scared... I-I d-don't know w-what to do, Leo. P-Please... p-please help me. Please, Leo."

Nang mag-sink in sa 'kin ang mga sinabi niya'y parang sasabog ang dibdib ko sa galit at sakit. Para bigla'y kaya kong pumatay ng tao.

"Sino'ng gumawa? Sabihin mo sa 'kin at papatayin ko siya!" I shouted with pain and anger.

Tiningnan niya lang ako nang diretso sa mata habang umiiyak pa rin. Parang hindi niya magawang sabihin ang sagot sa tanong ko at halata ang pag-aalangan sa mukha niya.

I held both of her shoulders. "Tell me, Izza! Who did this to you?"

"L-Leo..."

"Sino, Izza? Paano kita matutulungan kung hindi mo sasabihin sa akin kung sino?" I tried to be calm, but I'm already on the edge of breaking down.

"I-I..."

Nagising ako na pawis na pawis. Ang panaginip na iyon na naman. Ang alaalang iyon na naman. Hindi ba talaga ako lulubayan nang alaalang iyon? 
 
I really can't understand why that memory still haunts me. Didn't I already pay for that? Didn't I already throw myself to hell just for that damn sin? I don't get why I can't wash away that fucking memory.
 
I took my phone from the table and decided to call Ziena. It's just 5:30 in the morning, and I'm sure that she's still sleeping, but I have to hear her voice. 
 
This is weird again, but I have to admit that her voice is calming me. Like it's the only thing I have to hear, and she's the only person I have to see and know in order to make me feel better. 
 
Calling Ziena...
 
Naka-tatlong tawag ako bago niya ito sinagot. Tama nga ako na natutulog pa siya. 
 
"Ang aga-aga, Leo. Bakit ka naman tumawag?" 
 
It's obvious from her voice na kagigising niya lamang. Narinig ko pa ang bahagya niyang pag-inat. Bukod sa halata sa boses niyang kagigising niya lang, halata rin ang pagka-irita rito. At naiintindihan ko naman dahil in-storbo ko ang pagtulog niya. 
 
"I just want to hear your voice," I seriously whispered. 
 
"Sinusumpong ka na naman yata ng kabaliwan mo, Leo," she sarcastically answered.
 
"I'm serious. I just really have to hear your voice, and I'm sorry if I interrupted your sleep. You may sleep again now," I sincerely said. 
 
I was about to end the call, but she said something. "May problema ka ba? May nangyari ba?" this time, her voice was calm.
 
"Yeah, I just had a nightmare. A traumatic one," I faked a giggle. 
 
This is unusual for me. 
 
Dahil kahit kailan, hindi ko nagawang magsabi nang ganitong bagay sa kahit na sino. Hindi, maging sa nanay ko. Pero heto ako ngayon at nagsabi sa kan'ya. Ang laki na talaga nang pinagbago ko sa loob lamang nang maikling panahon ng dahil sa kan'ya. 
 
Hindi siya kaagad sumagot kaya muli na akong nagsalita. "Don't mind me. Matulog ka na ulit," I replied. 
 
"Nawala na ang antok ko. Ganito ako kapag na i-istorbo ang tulog, mahirap nang ibalik," she calmly stated. 
 
"At kasalanan ko kung bakit na-istorbo."
 
"Buti alam mo... pero ayos lang. Buti na rin ito para maaga akong kumilos dito sa bahay," she cleared her throat. "P'wede ka ring mag-k'wento kung gusto mo, para gumaan ang pakiramdam mo. Makikinig naman ako," she added.
 
"Don't mind it; it's just a memory not worth remembering, and I feel better now."
 
Because I already heard your voice.
 
"Sigurado ka ba? Ayos lang na mag-k'wento ka. Hindi naman na kita susungitan kahit in-istorbo mo ang pagtulog ko. H'wag kang mag-alala," she blabbered. 
 
I unknowingly smiled. Ibang klase na talaga ang epekto niya sa 'kin. Hindi naman siya nag-joke pero nangingiti ako. 
 
"Ayos na talaga ako. Salamat sa pagsusungit mo," I teased.
 
"Nang-aasar ka na naman ba?" she asked with an i-am-threatening-you tone. 
 
"I'm not, just stating a fact," I smirked.
 
"Dapat pala natulog na lang ako ulit, eh. Nang-iinis ka lang yata talaga." I can feel na umiirap-irap na siya ngayon, kahit hindi ko nakikita.
 
"You know what, you're really cute when you're mad," I said with a grin.
 
"Tsk, tsk. Kahit hindi ako galit ay cute ako, 'no!" she proudly said. 
 
Yeah, she's right. I find her cute in everything. 
 
"Yeah, because you're so small," I playfully grinned.
 
"Hoy! Hindi ako maliit, sadyang matangkad lang kayo." 
 
I know she pouted, like what she usually do kapag nagpapalusot siya o kaya'y na g-guilty sa isang bagay. 
 
"Silly," I shook my head a bit. 
 
"Duh. Anyway, kailangan ko nang mag-ayos dito dahil aalis tayo mamaya, hindi ba? Natatandaan mo pa ba? Or nakalimutan mo na? Natulog ka lang, ah," she asked. 
 
"I can remember. Hm... what should I bring?" I intently asked.
 
"Snacks siguro? Like chips, biscuits, and drinks," she doubtfully answered. 
 
"Saan ba kasi tayo pupunta?" 
 
"Basta, iyan na lang ang dalhin mo. Mauna na rin muna ako't gising na rin si Vini." 
 
Sasagot pa sana ako pero pinatay niya na agad ang tawag. Mahilig talaga itong si Ziena na mag-aya pero hindi sasabihin kung saan pupunta. Napaka-weirdong babae.

Bumangon na ako sa pagkakahiga at bahagyang nag-inat ng katawan. Kinuha ko ang puti kong polo shirt at gray pants, at pinatong ito sa kama. Nahihilig na rin ako sa puting polo shirt mula nang makasama ko si Ziena. Kakaiba na talaga. Dumiretso ako sa banyo pagkatapos. 
 
I stared at the mirror and it's really weird for me again because I'm smiling so wide, and I didn't even noticed it. I'm smiling like Wanda, when she's staring at our bartender.
 
Damn, is this what they call—love?