Exhale

In My Mother's Eyes

Years Ago, High School Graduation...

"Maggie, hurry up!" Mom yells at me from the other side of the door. I'm so nervous I can't stop puking, and Derek isn't coming. Of course I didn't send him an invitation, but why should I. He hasn't called, wrote or anything, besides I'm sure his mom told him. I stand up and flush the toilet, wiping my mouth off I start running the water to brush my teeth.

I fix my hat and straighten my tassel one more time before leaving the bathroom. I take a deep breath and walk out, as I open the door there stands mom. "You look absolutely beautiful." She says with water in her eyes. "Mom, don't cry yet, cause then I'll cry and I can't cry right now, I just fixed my makeup from throwing up." I say. She smiles and grabs my hand, "Come on, Dad's waiting outside." She says.

Mom and I walk outside and there stands dad, He turns around and smiles from ear to ear when he sees me. "Baby girl, you look beautiful." He says. "Thanks dad." I say climbing in the car.

I walk through the crowded ocean of high school graduates, and search for mom and dad. I clutch my diploma to my chest as I reach an opening in the crowd and there I see mom wiping her eyes as dad holds her close to his side. I make a sprint through the crowd and hug them both as the tears start to fall down my face.

I start to feel the graduation blues, "What do I do now? I mean for practically thirteen years of our lives we have everything planned for us, and now all we get is a piece of paper." I say. Mom grabs my face and looks at me with her intense brown eyes, "You are taking a year off to travel to London, then you're going to NYU, where they too will give you a piece of paper. We're proud of you baby." She says.

It's then, in my mother's eyes, that I know everything is going to be alright. It's then I know that I can do this, and it's because of her and dad, that I stand here before them as a high school graduate, and one day a college graduate.

Present Day...

"Is my mother ok?" I ask them again. The Dr removes his scrub cap, "Mrs. Grayson, I'm sorry. We did everything we could but your mother suffered a very large stroke on the operating table. There was nothing more we could do." He says. I stand there, speechless and unable to move. I see Derek in front of me saying something, but I can't hear him.

It's been a month since I last saw my mothers eyes, the very eyes that gave me the courage and confidence to go out into this world as a woman. I look over at Ian, who is struggling to hold himself together. "Could you have saved her?" I ask. The Dr takes a deep breath, "If I was able to save her, Her stroke was so severe she would have lost all her motor skills." He says with regret.

I shake my head as I look down at the floor, I start breathing heavy and at this moment I'm not sad, I'm angry. I look around the room and grab the vase of flowers, Leah brought Ian, and chuck them across the room. It shatters against the wall, sending glass, flowers, and water all over the place.

"Maggie!" Derek shouts at me. "What? What can you possibly say to me right now that will ease the amount of grief that I have?" I retort. The Dr and nurse excuse themselves, "Maggie, I know how hard this is for you, ok. And I'm here for you. The Dr said we can see her if we like. Will it be too hard for you?" He asks. I try to fight the tears but ultimately lose as they cascade down my face. "Of course I want to see her and yeah it will be hard, but I have to say goodbye." I say and walk over to Ian and grab his hand.

"I'm so sorry. It should've been me, I don't have a family, you need your mother." He says through tears. "Ian, you have a family, we're your family no matter what. Mom's house is now yours. So you will always have a home, now lets go say goodbye." I say and hug him.