My Understandings. (Of Mice and Men love story.)

Let go, and let live again.

Shay was sleeping, holding me in his arms, I lie awake. I couldn't stop thinking about how I kissed Austin that night. How soft his lips were. 

How gentle he was. 

No, what am I saying. Shay is my boyfriend and I love him. 

I listened to his soft snores, and felt his heart beating. I felt his soft, shirtless, body on my skin. I smelled the scent of his last cigarette on his breath, and the heavy cologne. The smell intoxicated me. I turned my body to face his. I looked over every feature on his face. His long eyelashes, long hair that hung infront of his face, his lips that had a steel ring implanted on the side. I kissed his chin, and buired my face in his chest, intaking his scent. I wrapped my arms around him. "I love you Shay." I whispered, knowing he didnt hear it. I closed my eyes, and drifted off to my deep slumber. 

~

I felt Shay start to move around. I woke up, and saw him looking through his phone. I rubbed my eyes. "What time is it?" I ask, yawning. "7:30." He looked down at me, his tired blue eyes, strained, and red. I laid my head on his stomach. "Im going to miss you Shay." I said. His fingers traced my chin. He sighed deeply. "You should go get ready. Take a shower or whatever." He said. 

The way he looked at me, I could tell he was depressed. I kissed his cheek, then got up. 

 ~

I got dressed in the bathroom, then tied my wet, long hair up. "Abby! Austin is here!" I heard Shay from the living room. I walked out in the living room, and saw Austin sitting with Shay on the couch. Austin got up. "Hey." He smiled. He hugged me then handed me a small box. "Austin, you didnt have to get me anything." I said. "Just open it!" He urged me. 

It was a heart shaped locket, and inside was a small print of the poem if i can stop one heart from breaking by Emily Dickison

If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain 

I smiled, and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, I love it." I said, holding it in my hands. "It was Shay's idea. I just picked it up." Austin laugh. I turned around to sleepy Shay. I kissed him. "Thank you so much." He blushed, then grabbed my hand. "Its almost 9." Shay said, looking up at me. I felt the tears start to welt up in my eyes. 

Im supposed to leave at 9. 

It was 8:30. 

"I'll help you with your things." Shay sighed. I watched him roll my black suitcases to the door. Austin grabbed my bed spread that was on the matress Shay and I laid on the floor.

~

Austin had spread the bed spread on the chair of my car, and put a few pillows around so I wouldnt get uncomfortable while driving for a day or two. Shay didnt want to watch me leave, so he kissed me for a long time, then hugged me tightly. "Call me when you get there ok Abigail?" He teared up. "I promise." I kissed him, wiping away his fragil tears. " I love you, so much." He said. He kissed my forehead, then went inside. 

I looked at Austin, and he was tearing up too. Tears welted in my eyes. He wiped away my tears, then hugged me tightly. "I need to tell you something Abby." He looked down. 

"Im in love with you." 

I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach. He looked up, and his eyes were swollen and red from crying. " I have been in love with you since I saw you." 

I felt like screaming. 

I stared at my shoes. "I-I dont really know what to say." I mumbled. He hugged me tightly. "Dont say anything." He said. 

He sniffled. "Please, drive carefully ok. I'll lock up the house." He said, wiping his eyes. He hugged me again, then kissed my cheek. 

Too many thoughts were running around in my head at once. I got into the car, and drove. 

~~~~~~~

A long 24 hours later, I pulled up at my mom's house in the suburbs. I walked in, and she was on the phone. She smiled. "Yeah, she just got here. I'll call you back." She hung up the phone, and hugged me tightly. "Welcome home sweetie." She smiled. 

I took my stuff up to my room. I looked around at the baby pink walls that had Christmas lights hanging up, and pictures of me and my best friends; Jenna, Melanie, and Max. 

I looked at the polaroid pictures of me and him. 

His light blonde hair fell infront of his face, and his brown eyes looked into mine. I took a deep breath in. 

"I miss you." I whispered, running my fingers on the surface of the picture. 

"Abby?" I heard my mom. "Yeah?" I turned around. 

My mom resembled Courtney Love. 

She had shoulder length blonde curls, and pale skin. "You have school tomorrow, and the chorus wants you back." She smiled. "Really?"

"Of course! You were their best vocalist."  She explained. The doorbell rang, and my mom ran downstairs to get it. 

I heard talking then footsteps up the stairs. I looked up and saw Melanie, and Jenna. "Oh my god, hi!" I smiled, hugging both of them. "I missed you!" Melanie said. "How was California?" Jenna asked, almost immedaitly. 

"It was nice." I smiled. "We should go get a coffee or something!" Melanie said. I looked her over. 

She was short and tan, with long half blonde, half black hair. 

She was wearing her black Doc Martens, leggings, and a flanel shirt.

I looked at Jenna.

She was taller than me, but not by a lot. She had long brown and blonde dreads, and huge brown eyes.

"At 8:30 pm?" I laughed. "Why not?" Jenna laughed along. I grabbed my coat. "Lets go." I smiled.

Melanie on the side.