This is GARBAGE!! I am a busy 19-year-old who is dumb plz don't judge too harshly. ALSO if you are here for the 'spicy stuff' only then I haven't written any yet when it comes to that point I will add a star or something near it so you can skip to...
12/17/21 Vs pov. T has been acting strange. Today she enters the class extremely late, she doesn't look up from the ground, it's almost like she is on autopilot. T's blond and black braids were put into a messy ponytail, she wore pajama pants with footballs plastered all over it, and her black sweater had white stains from toothpaste and old food. Her eyes were dull, she looked like she hadn't gotten any sleep. T hates when people ask if she's okay, there is really no point in asking if she is just going to avoid the question. Still, it is taking everything out of me not to ask. Jay sits one seat away from me leaving the middle for T. Before T sits down I look over to Jay, he holds the same worried look in his eyes. I look back over to T, I open my mouth to say something but I'm cut off by jay clearing his throat. I look over at him, he shakes his head with a defeated look in his eyes, I can see every strand of his black silky hair bounce left to right. I sigh and look down.
I hate this feeling, knowing that someone I care about is... hurting, and I don't know why, I don't know how to help. Mrs. Pail began her lecture but, in all honesty, I couldn't focus. Every word she said went in one ear and out the other, all of my attention was on T. Her eyes were glued to her phone, she stared as though her life depended on it. Her eyes were red from the lack of blinking or maybe sleeping? Her shoulders were slumped over, she hardly moved from her position but when she did she would move slow. The only movement she did was consistently pick at the side of her thumb. It turned a bright irritated pink, her thumb was raw. I looked back over to her face, examining it once more. Usually, T has a small amount of makeup on, outlining her lips perfectly, today she didn't, but she didn't look any less beautiful. Her dark eye bags highlighted how big her eyes are, I miss when they had a bright light in them. Without her concealer, I can see all of the "imperfections" she tried to hide, but they looked beautiful to me. Her beauty mark under her right eye and at the side of her nose, the small mole on the side of her face. Even like this, the only word I can use to describe her is captivating.
"Let us use Tina for example, what is your personality type?" Mrs.Pail asks. The entire class looks over at T but she doesn't look up, her eyes stay on her phone. The class waits for her response, the awkwardness growing by the second. Ts is so zoned out that she has completely blocked out her surroundings. How do I move the attention away from her? I look over at jay with a panicked look, he has a cool look to him but I can tell by his leg shaking that he's worried. Jay clears his throat and in a nonchalant way, he says," excuse me Mrs.Pail I was wondering how personality types play in your career choice? If it does have an effect on that, does that mean we are bound to certain paths in our lives just because we are a little introverted?" He asked the question with little to no interest in his voice. Mrs. Pail and the entirety of the class looks at him with a shocked look," oh- um thank you, Mr. Cruz, for your question," that was the most he has spoken out loud. If I wasn't so worried about T right now, I'd probably give him a standing ovation. I stare at him for a little, his plum pink lips seemed to be slightly chapped, his hair held a wet look and hung over his eyebrows. His eyebrows were full and frowned, his skin wasn't perfect holding some acne and scares here and there. As I examine his face his dark brown eyes hit mine, he motions over to t. My attention breaks away from him as back to the gorgeous brown-skinned woman. Her head was laid on top of the desk, she looks as though she might have fallen asleep.
The class had been going on for a while, now we are in our small groups working on our next project. T's eyes were now open but she still didn't move. I can't hold my worry in for any longer, I know she won't like it if I ask her but we are closer now, she should no that she can rely on me. Hell she can even take whatever is bothering her out on me, she can trust me because I trust her. I call out her name softly, "T" She doesn't respond or even budge, I try calling her a few more times. "T....Hey T? T? T is everything okay," my heart drops, she's not responding and I feel the same anxious feeling I felt when I found my mom on the floor. "Tina!" I say slightly loud, my voice breaking as I place my hand on her shoulder. She quickly sits up, startling me. "Sorry, what's up?" Her voice was rasp and fragile. At that very moment, T reminded me of a flower, one that hasn't been heald correctly, one that was trying to survive in the wrong season. I wonder if she ever saw herself as a flower. "Are you....okay?" I ask looking over at Jay his emotions bleeding out with his body language. His eyebrows knitted and his body completely tried to T.
T's expression changed when I asked her the question. Her face turned from emotionless to a soft and hurt look, it almost looked like she wanted to cry but wouldn't allow herself. She took a deep and shaky breath," I'm fine." Her smile looked a little too real and that scared me. How long has she been faking being okay? And why is she lying? A million questions ran through my head but the only thing I can feel was disappointment. Not only at the fact that she felt like she couldn't rely on me, open up to me. But also at the fact that it feels like she doesn't want to open up to me and that hurt. I sigh, holding back any and every word I wanted to say, no matter how much that hurt me now is not the time to talk about it. I don't want to add on to anything. I think Jay could tell that her response hurt me, it probably hurt him as well. He sighs and says,"hey um T, we are here for you, we care about you," he usually stutters when it comes to expressing himself but his voice sounded sure. She responds this time more genuinely " I know, thank you." Maybe she wants to open up a little bit? I didn't think before I extended my arm before I reach her hand she quickly stands up. " Sorry guys! I have to rush home, I'm helping my um mom do this thing and she wants me home now!" her voice was loud making others in the class look over at her. "W-what do you mean? We still have 40 mins left of class?" I say concerned. she quickly rushes out, leaving me and jay there with silence.
"somethings wrong, like really wrong," I say looking over at jay, his eyes soften when he sees the look on my face almost like he wants to comfort me. He moves closer to me, placing his hand on top of mine, my heart flutters. "i.....i know, have faith in T, she will come to us when she's ready.." he says almost like he's trying to convince himself. I hold back tears again, fearing that someone might see, "i... im ..." scared. I try to say but my mouth won't let me. I can see all of Jay's defenses drop at that very moment, all his composer that he had left washed away, his leg starts to shake and his voice breaks, he knew what I wanted to say. He could only respond with "m-me too."
Long time no see!!!!! sorry, yall me and collage are fighting and she is whooping my ass..... anyways! I promise it gets better but this book is pretty long, if you stick with me I appreciate you! if not no hard feelings!!!! Also please tell me if the last names are wonky.
Oh, also I thought of this cool way to describe like someone who self sabotages (so me ) "a rose who gets poked by its own thorns" that's probably not original but whatever.
stay hot and sexy xoxo
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