the simp squad + elfi

operation lmao

this is an unfinished oneshot i wrote in honour of markos' birthday last november, but i never got around to completing it because there was no point in writing it if the birthday boy himself couldn't even log into wattpad. so i thought i'd post it anyway cos why not xp

Markos switched lanes, now driving along the empty highway, humming to himself completely off-key. "Badamdamdamdoo..."

Pretending to drum against the wheel, he clicked his teeth, asking himself, "McDonalds or Burger King? McDonalds or Burger King?"

"McDonalds, silly! I've been craving their nuggets for-"

The male sharply whipped his head around, spotting the 16 year old sat on his backseat, holding a cannister of grease, "ELFI, WHAT THE F-"

The car skidded off the road, crashing into a nearby tree.

The wheel-grease trick had worked perfectly, and Ali had been able to unlock the trunk, clambering in quietly, before seating herself in the backseat prior to the crash. Now it was time to update the group

Unbuckling her seatbelt, Ali grabbed Markos' credit card, before pulling out her phone and texting the Markos' Surprise Party GC.

AliTheAwesome: diversion created! iniate part 2 of operation LMAO

She set off in a light jog, leaving an unconscious Markos sprawled across the drivers' seat, head lolled against the steering wheel.

In the meantime, Eliza, Vibi and James set to work, hacking Markos' phone and credit card, wiring it so that the only thing available on his phone would be a preset map leading to...somewhere. His car would be wired to autodrive to said location once it starts up.

Ali met up with Cho and Lia outside Beep's bakery, where Ash was already inside tasting different cakes, "Hm...it's very chocolatey, but could use some caramel...OOOOH, CHO, ELFI, LIA! COME COME!"

The trio joined her, sitting at the counter as Beep layed out several plates laden down with varied slices of cake, all iced to perfection, "Okay, so we have chocolate indulgence, mocha swirl, strawberry jolly rancher, a...specially requested jalebi encrusted cake with laddoo filling-"

The girls all exchanged glances. Cho tenatively reached forward, cutting the laddoo cake with a fork, popping it into her mouth.

"Hmm. Flour, butter, sugar, eggs, the basic recipe for a cake...but the laddoo brings something extra. And the jalebi syrup...oooh, that's good."

Ali tried a mouthful too, "C'est très sucre. Mm...pas mal, I like it." Lia tried the jalebi on its own, chewing for a painfully long time before swallowing. She stayed silent, removing her glasses, before wiping them clean and slipping them into her purse. 4 pairs of eyes were on her intently. Lia blinked innocently, "What?"

Beep waved her arms around, "How'd it taste?"

"It's good, I like it. Considering how Ash has already force-fed laddoo down my throat a few weeks back, I can safely say it'll be a good combination. But we'll take a chocolate cake too, just in case."

Ali's eyes gleamed, "Wait wait. Can we...can we have gulab jamun with the jalebi on the cake, and painted to look like crystals?" Almost immediately, Ash jumped up and down excitedly, "YES YES YES YES YES!!!"

Beep chuckled, typing into the cash register, "I'll see what I can do. Your sum is 5000NGD, but due to family and friends discount...you can have it for 2500NGD."

"Perfect." Going up on tiptoes, Ali handed over Markos' credit card. Beep withdrew the cash, before disappearing to the kitchen. She later returned with two large boxes and a tray with gulab jamun, placing everything in Lia's hands, "I'll swing by the party with takeout-" The wall crumbled, and in wandered a herd of sheep. The tray wobbled, before crashing to the tiled floors. Upon hearing the sound of it, the sheeps grew skittish, running around, baaa-ing madly. A few of them started gnawing at the sugary syrup-coated balls in eagerness. Cho winced, "On second thought...we'll just use breadrolls instead-"

Back at home, Eliza was furiously tapping her phone screen. James and Vibi had their eyes glued to the big control panels, clicking certain buttons, tweaking the controls. Vibi groaned, "Unnie, can you please help us instead of being on your phone?"

Eliza held a hand up, still typing with her other hand, "Gimme a few minutes. I'm in the middle of a Twitter feud with the Green Ninja. Asshole. Who does he think he is? He's got a whole lot of nerve, challenging the face of N-Pop."

Ana walked into the room, taking Eliza's phone in the process, "I managed to get a refund on that private island Lia tried to buy. And as ordered..." she dug into her purse, bringing out an envelope, "10 tickets to the Maldives, first class. How's Operation LMAO going?"

"It's going pretty well. Markos is still knocked out according to the security camera covering that area, so we still have time."