Impossible to Love {Ki Hong Lee}

Chapter 20

I sit there in silence on a tiny desk,my exam paper sitting there like dinner on a plate. I slowly go through the questions,Ki isn't here. He's still in the hospital. The same for my sister. I can't stop thinking about them through all the exam,so much it distracts me from the paper. I imagine Tiffany and Ki not caring what grades they got,they'd say something like "All it is is some letters on a page. It doesn't define you." Well the truth is that it's much more. People see things differently in life,everything's uglier up close. I keep an eye on the time,finding all the time I could need. I quickly skim round at everyone else,no one seems to be having problems like me,maybe I'm the only one.

The bell rings to signal the end and we all hand our papers in silence then I walk out to see Olivia.

"You coming?" I ask her.
"Huh?"
"I'm going to see Tiffany."
"We've still got one more lesson."
"So? Come on."
"Since when did you get so rebellious?"
"Since other things mattered more."

We walk to the hospital and they take us to another building as we climb step after step until we find a room,253. I open it to see Tiffany sitting there in yellow pyjamas.

"What are you doing here?" She asks "Don't you have to exam?"
"Just done it." Me and Olivia sit near her on the bed "How do you feel?"
"Awful. But is Ki okay?"
"We don't know yet."
"Right.."
"I've made peace that you like him."
"I don't. We've got nothing in common!"
Olivia just smiles "Tiffany,opposites attract."
"That's magnets we're people."
"If you say so."
"Why are you here?"
"We wanted to see you."
"And parade around that you have freedom and I don't?"
"I wouldn't call it freedom."
"This place is a nightmare..."
"You'll get out of here soon." Olivia says.
"Can I just talk to Tom for a little while?"
"That's fine."

She walks out the room and closes the door,leaving it only us..

"You'll be okay Tiffany."
"No I won't."
"Why?"
"I'm scared about Ki."
"He'll be okay."
"Is that your answer to everything?"
"No,I know it."
"You can never be sure. He could be dying right now."
"Don't think like that."
"I can think how I want. They're keeping me here because I'm crazy. Can't you see that?"
"I know but Ki. You'll see him soon."
"No I won't!" Her voice yells "Don't tell me soon,I can't do that Tom. Nothing works without him none of this,and it fucking hurts!" Her voice suddenly breaks as a tear falls down her cheek "It fucking hurts so much.."

I pull her into my arms.

"I know.." I whisper "I know it does."
"Please Tom please.. I need to see him. Now."
"Here." I pull out my phone to go on the photos,there's millions of him her face lights up like a little kid when I show her,we go through thousands.
"Thank you."
"That's okay. Now lie down."

She lies under the covers as I tuck her in.

"I'll come back soon." I say "Sleep,dream of anything you want,everything you love."
"I will. Bye."
"Bye."

As her eyes start to gently close I shut the door behind me then walk away,I pull out my phone and ring Ki's mum.

"Hello,Thomas?"
"Yeah. It's me."
"How are you dear?"
"I'm fine. Any news on Ki?"
"He's making progress,some deep damage though,they're ready to release him in a week."
"Good. Okay,give him my best."
"Thank you,bye."
"Goodbye Mrs Lee."

I hang up and walk back home,checking my exam timetable to see my next exam is two days away. I let myself relax by getting a drink then lying down on the sofa,after that doesn't work I pour myself a steamy bath and slip into the water,the bubbles at my chin as I close my eyes and try to relax. It works for quite a while until the water starts to cool itself down.

I get changed then wander around the house,I search through the DVDs to find one marked Memories,I slide it in then watch as Tiffany flashes up on the screen. She's about six,dancing about the garden,laughing and smiling. Just seeing her makes the tears pool from my eyes.

"Don't grow up Tiff." I whisper "It's a trap."