"Pillow Buddy" ✔

Not Deep Enough

Chapter ninety-nine: "Not Deep Enough"

After we ate the burgers and threw away the plastic and paper bag, we brushed our teeth together in the bathroom while fighting for space in the mirror
This isn't uncommon because we also fight for the mirror back at the penthouse

It turns out Nick wasn't lying about Cloud being conscious of his hair, I wanna watch what happens if we all grow old and wrinkly
He would be devastated

After I washed my face and dried it with a towel, I left Cloud alone in the bathroom to get to the bed, and before I could even wrap the duvet around me again he pulled it away from me "Stop hogging the duvet, I'm cold" he complained as he continued to pull it

Now here's the thing, I sleep with the duvet around me but when I wake up the duvet is not covering me anymore because Cloud took it all. I am still surprised I didn't get sick from being left out to freeze in the cold while he enjoyed the soft and warmth of the duvet
If that were to happen again I would bring an extra duvet and I don't care if we won't be close because it won't be the same duvet.

He hopped on the bed to lay beside me and I can feel the bed dip on his part, he is heavy because he has pure muscles. Me and Cloud were facing each other on the bed, he scooted close to me but I moved back every time

He made a pouty face before grabbing my waist to pull me close to him, having my hand land on his chest in the process to stop us from getting too close. I raised my head to see him look down at me "I couldn't do this at the train and I got impatient" he lightly laughs

Since my hand is laid on his chest I can feel his slow heartbeat, every beat made me realize how an unbelievable miracle gave him a chance to live even after that scary accident that left a huge scar on him. He watched my every move with my hand as I slowly move it up and he inhaled a sharp breath when I touched his neck that I noticed that there was a faded scar near his neck

"Where did this scar come from?" I asked softly as I was trying to make Cloud sleepy

His half-closed eyes bore on mine and I seemed to have made him remember a bad memory from the way he flinched a little, his hand went on top of mine that was resting on his neck "I got it from the car accident, the window shard almost ended me"

His words about the accident made me feel emotional, I could imagine him crying for hours calling out for help as he watched his sister and cousin die in front of him. That would be very traumatic even for me

"My scar was deep but not deep enough to end me, my sister though got her skull cracked when the car landed on her side" his voice was shaky and so does his hands, my hand on his chest can feel his heart starting to race
I shouldn't have asked him that

I don't want him to get another nightmare because he remembered the accident, he was already getting better.

"I feel like it was my fault, if she didn't protect me she would have managed to save herself"

Those words shook me, he was talking about dying in his sister's stead. I did encounter him trying to take his own life but I didn't know he would live his life with regret and at that moment I felt something inside of me to protect him at all cost

It's almost like I have the urge to give him the best possible outcome of him managing to live happily but I would hurt his feelings if I told Cloud about it, it would make him more guilty than he already was. I feel like if I didn't accept his offer, who knows what would have happened to him while no one is around

The guy hugging me right now might have been in a coffin and is being mourned by millions of people who adore and love him, his eyes would be forever closed and I could never get to see those forest green eyes that glow with mischief as his coffin will be buried underground
Just the mere thought, I can't let that happen

I was starting to have a soft side for Cloud and I didn't even know it until I hugged him back

I felt my eyes water a bit
Why the hell am I crying!? Is this supposed to be normal?

Cloud noticed it immediately and he sat up to check up ok me "You okay? You're crying and you look hideous doing it"

A small laugh came out from me as I wiped my eyes "That's a bit rude to say to a person who is crying"

"I dunno how to comfort a crying woman" he shrugged at me, he may be popular with girls but he is clueless in the basic ways of comforting them. Heck, even Peter can comfort a girl and he isn't that popular!

Just how on earth did Cloud even manage to make a girl swoon without even using his looks and brains at all?

I sat up slowly beside him and he used both of his hands to cup my face as he used his thumbs to wipe the tears at the corner of my eyes "Cloud?"

"Your imagining things again are you?"

"How did you-" "I just know"

Typical Cloud that knows it all, it comes in handy

Why does he act this way? that form of affection that was meant to be used for his real girlfriend, his hands are big and rough that kept caressing my skin. His eyes that we were dead inside a few minutes ago now came back with life

I feel like I crave this type of affection that I will never get to have permanently because of one fact that will always be engraved in my head is that our relationship isn't real

This relationship was formed so we both can benefit from each other, it broke me knowing that once it ends I could never feel this type of affection from him ever again
Will he be in the arms of Abigail after this?

I will never tell Cloud about this, my pride that I've been protecting would only crumble if I told him. Playing safe is the way to go to avoid a broken heart

This must be from being with Cloud for too long, maybe it will go away once we separate

No words could explain how this guy managed to be a good guy yet a bad guy at the same time, he is Cloud Josiah Marshall after all

I would not be surprised if he could pull both the good and bad off

He is a wildcard

Cloud pushed me to lay my back on the bed which surprised me then he laid his head on my chest, he was on top of me and I didn't mind it because it felt cozy and nice. I rake my fingers through his soft hair as he lets out a breath of relaxation

His tensed body finally relaxed and he put his ear near my chest listening to my heart, my legs are at his sides while he hugs me by the hips and waist
How cute...wait what?

"Your heartbeat is like a lullaby" he mumbled

So that's how he described it
I grabbed the duvet that was tossed at the side of the bed and I put it on top of both of us

"Is it really like a lullaby?"

He nodded "A slow lullaby that lulls me to sleep and your chest is soft too" he laughs as I hit him at the side of the head

An hour passed and he still hasn't gone to sleep yet, so how did I know that? Because Cloud's hands kept going turning his head left and right every 5 minutes

"Are you ready to meet your entire clan tomorrow, Angel?" He raised his head from my chest to face me

"Can't say I'm excited, it will be crowded" I giggled

"You do know I'm coming with you right?"

I stopped giggling then faced him "What?"