cry for me · jakehoon

039

flashback

"jungwon, our little friend, where are you?" a husky voice called out.

jungwon sat in fear, his hands over his mouth just so he wouldn't make a sound, he shut his eyes closed and was shaking.

the dark sky was out, the only source of light was the moon and flashlights coming from the boys who looked around the forest for the poor boy.

"come out~ you don't want to keep your friends waiting right?"

the voice haunted jungwon, the sound of the boys voice made the younger completely petrified.

i have to make a run for it.. jungwon thought, attempting to stand up but he stepped on a branch and accidentally twisted his ankle.

it was just like in those horror movies, but this time, it was reality.

he had his hands over his mouth, letting out muffled groans. now tears were rolling down his cheeks, the flashlights just came closer and he was now hopeless.

"found you!"

"how could you betray us like that? we are your only real friends and you go snitching on us?" kicks were landing on the poor boys back as he said those words.

seo jaeyun, jaeyun was once jungwons friend, but that was until one day everything changed.

"i should've never trusted you! no one will, you're such a bad friend!"

jungwon had a rough past, and it all started after he met jaeyun who was someone he met in school, for some time, jungwon had been bullying those weaker than him because that's what his friends did, it was so sad to see how badly he wanted a friend.

"you don't deserve anyone! you'll be forever alone."

he was just lonely, he was just tired of feeling alone, and jaeyun brought light into his life, he soon forgot about the feelings of loneliness and was surrounded by those who actually liked him because of the power he held.

"do you think we would go easy on you because you were stronger than us all?"

that was until one day, he decided that he would take a different turn in life, he wanted to fix himself, he realized that being surrounded by people who were no good would turn out bad, he didn't want to be bad anymore.

he felt no enjoyment when hurting people, all he felt was guilt but he could just never back down since others thought of him highly, and that's what he regrets, he set a bad image to himself but that was never him, his insecurities controlled him.

"don't you want to be a true friend?" jaeyun said as kneeled down to view the boys terrified face, grabbing jungwons collar.

and that's all was said as jungwon went back to the place he tried so hard to get out of, he was back in the shadows of loneliness.

"i-i will do a-anything to b-be a true friend!" he stuttered, swallowing the lump in his throat as the boy confidently chuckled.

"would you kill anyone to gain someones trust?" jaeyun said, a wide smile on his face, with a little laugh escaping his lips.

would i...

"i...i would.. of course.. i would kill someone just to be a true friend."

and with those words, he quickly pushed the guy off of him and went on top of jaeyun, grabbing the boys neck and putting pressure onto it.

and that's how he murdered his first friend, his only friend.

-

present.

jungwon cried and cried, loud sobs filled the room as he sunk onto jays warm touch, thinking about what has happened in the past, no one knew about it, no one would understand.

i'm a murderer..

"angel.." jay said softly, as jungwon cried even more hearing the boys honey voice.

jay brushed the hair off jungwons face, revealing the stain of blood that was on the boys face.

blood stains were also on jungwons, but he just couldn't question about it, the only thing he cared about is if jungwon was okay, but the sight said otherwise, jay was devastated.

"i-i didn't mean to! i-i didn't want to!" jungwon said in between sobs, the little voices in his head continued to make things even worse, the voices made him go crazy.

"what didn't you want to do?" jay asked, staring at the boy who began to panic.

panic in his eyes, he began breathing loudly as he shut his eyes closed and placed his hands on his ears, hoping the voices in head would stop.

you don't deserve anything
after killing another one of your
real friends.

you're a bad person,
you're a bad friend.

you're a murderer..

"baby, look at me." jay said, grabbing a hold of jungwons chin and the younger boy instantly sunk in the boys eyes.

they both locked eyes, and jays warm touch calmed the younger down. "what's wrong, you can tell me."

"jay... love, i'm scared." jungwon let out, his lips trembled as he recalled what has happened recently, the murder of his friend.

jay caressed jungwons cheek and stared at him with loving eyes. "sweetheart, clean yourself up and then tell me what's wrong."

jungwon nodded his head, using his sweater paws to dry the tears that were on his cheeks.

and with that, jungwon went to the bathroom, turning on the water but just never went in.

all he could do was stare at his self as the mirror began to fog up, the eyes of disgust as he eyed the blood stains on his white shirt, the dry blood stain that was on his cheek, it traumatized him, all he felt was guilt.

he bit his lip and his eyes darted down, he couldn't even stare at himself anymore, because in his eyes, he was now a monster.

no.. i was always a monster.

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word count: 962