Letters from me to you ( HP Character )

From Severus to Lily

How could you have done this to me. I have always been there for you. Ever since the beginning. You would have been nothing if I hadn't helped you out. How could you go and leave me like this? I thought you said you would always be by my side no matter what. How could you?

You had to go and love that idiot. The one who had all the girls lining up for him, the captain of the Quidditch team, the perfect O student. The boy who tormented me for years. You could have been happy with me, like we were when we were young. We were so carefree, so innocent. Do you remember? You told me once, when we were near the stream back home, that we would always have each other no matter what. How could you leave me alone?

You shouldn't have died. You should have been with me. You should have listened to me when I told you about the plans. You trusted the wrong person. And he killed you for it. You were betrayed not only by the man I despised the most and who nearly killed me. You were sold by the one you called friend. How could he?

Friend? Did our friendship mean nothing to you? What happened to the sweet girl I knew all these years ago? You were always laughing; your smile was always for me! It was mine! You were mine! You were mine to hold! Mine to talk to! Mine! How could you?

And now? What do I have left? Nothing! You left me with nothing but heartache! Pain! Bitterness! The ever growing feeling of hate... How could you? How could you leave me here on this earth? Alone with nothing else but your son... Your son who looks like him? Who reminds me everyday of you? Of him? Of what I should have protected? Is this your way of torturing me? What did I ever do to you? What did I do to deserve this?

Is it because of what happened in our 5th year? Is this why you have left me with him? Is this my punishment? Losing you wasn't enough? Losing the love of my life wasn't punishment enough? Now I have to see him every day? Becoming more arrogant! Like his father was! How could you?

His father bullied me everyday for 5 years straight! He never left me alone! He was an arrogant git! How could your hate turn into love! Tell me that! Answer me the question! I have so many unanswered questions! So many questions! You left me without answering! Do you know how selfish that is! How could you?

You could have had me! Was I not good enough? Was I not smart enough? You went and left me! You left me! How could you?

I miss you now and wish I could have told you more! I wish I had told you all these years ago about my feelings! I wish I had been brave enough to tell you how I felt! I wish I had protected you! I wish I had never told him about the prophecy! I wish I had never been to that place! I wish....

I wanted you to be safe, I wanted you to be saved! Was that too much to ask? Maybe I am being punished for a reason! Maybe me walking this earth without you in it is my punishment!

I want you to know... I am sorry... I wanted you to live! I wanted to give my life! If I could I would turn back time and die for you! It should have been the other boy! Not yours! It should have been another house! He should have taken the other family! Not yours! How could he?

I should have told you! How could I? how could I?