Hitting on the hitman

Ten bucks. (22)

Jess's p.o.v

"Listen to me, Jessica." He instructed, though it was comforting, his voice did always spark a warmth in my stomach. I felt safe. And so I did listen, intentively, I always listened to him.

"Sometimes good people do bad things."

"But daddy, if they are good people why would they?"

"Well," He paused, a slightly panicked look on his face which he wiped away with a smile. "Lots of reasons. They could be confused, or hurt, or desperate." He explained with a bittersweet smile. "The point is, you never really know what someone is going through, so you have to forgive them, okay?" He held me by the shoulders looking deep into my eyes.

"Forgive them?"

"Yes." He nodded, his eyes glazed, a little red.

"No matter what they do?" I swallowed, my throat growing tight and my stomach suddenly sinking into the soft bed we sat on.

"No matter what they do."

My lungs squeezed tight inside of me, this was so familiar, so fake. No, this wasn't real. I'm, not a little girl anymore.

"Daddy?" I asked, my voice flickering in my ears, I reached out a shrunken hand to his face and he crumbled into dust in front of me, fading out like stars blinking out of existence.

I jumped towards him to grab him before he could really be gone, but it was too late, I was hugging air, an empty space where he used to be, and the soft bed disappeared from under me.

Darkness surrounded me, endless and screaming, sucking me up like a black hole.

"Dad?!" I shrieked into the open abyss.

"DAD?!" I screamed as I jolted up on my bed. My eyes shot open, breath shaken, as my fingernails dug into my palms stabbing the flesh under my skin.

I caught my breath, numbly staring at the dimly lit wall in front of me.

It had been a while.

I thought they had finally gone away.

But I was wrong.

I let my knees carry me weak out of my bed as I stumbled to the bathroom turning on the light that burned in my head.

I leaned on the cold bathroom counter starring at the shaken tense version of myself in the mirror.

Would this feeling ever go away?

Why can't I ever let him go?

He's gone, Jess.

He's gone.

My fingers twisted the tap and water ran. I let it gather in my cupped hands before rushing it to my face. I couldn't even tell if I was still dreaming.

The cold splash of droplets on my skin grounded me slightly and I turned the tap off, the silence returning and screaming in my ears.

Strands of my hair hung messy and wet over my face, but I couldn't focus my mind on that. I stumbled back to my bed glancing at my alarm clock.

3:12 am

Tomorrow would be a better day.

That's what I told myself.

But it wasn't.

-------------------------------------------------------

"Jesus, Jess, you look awful," Hunter chimed with a sympathetic and innocent tone, blue eyes bright in the morning sun glazing through the open windows.