DEC 17 - minsung

06.10

june 10,

everything has been different since jisung came back. different. i'm not sure what different. i just can't put a saying into it.

i haven't written in so long only because jisung has always been with me; always occupying my time.

a couple days after i talked to chan about him, i told him to come over. it was awkward at first. he came in with an awkward smile and cookies in his hand.

i don't like sweet deserts. i accepted them anyways.

we looked at each other in silence, jisungs eyes shaking. i remember him looking at his hands, to my lips, then scanning my eyes. it was as if he was growing more and more nervous the longer my mouth stayed shut and my eyes stayed emotionless.

i contemplated on acting like everything was normal but that didn't feel right.

if i lied to the boy i wouldn't be able to look him in his eyes.

i ended up saying that we can start over. our trust needs to be built again, even if we already knew details that wouldn't be shared at first glance.

i cautiously held up a wall, still. it wasn't very high nor strong. it was weak enough to break for him.

i told him when it breaks i'll tell him what i have planned on december 17th.