DEC 17 - minsung

12.17

december 17,

had something big planned today. keyword, had. it was supposed to be a big day. the day i would leave all my worries behind, all the stress, all the thoughts and feelings. my responsibilities wouldn't exist if i gave into my urges.

but then you came into my life.

when you saw me, the first thing you did was offer me a lollipop. you had one in your mouth and you passed out the candy like a little boy who's happiness came from sharing. you practically stuck it in my mouth before i could say no.

you went on about how everyone deserves a lollipop. they should get one for waking up in the morning, for going to school, for eating lunch, for cleaning up, for smiling. you told me everyone deserves to be rewarded— no matter how big or how small the tiny action they made was.

'for some people, the hardest thing for them is to brush their teeth in the morning. and for others, it could be passing their last exam to be a certified doctor! everyone's struggles are different. our challenges shouldn't be measured or compared. does that make sense?

what could be easy for you could be the most difficult thing to do for another person. their biggest struggle can be so different than yours because that's the only one they know. none of us experience the same exact thing.

that's why everyone should get a lollipop. or a cookie. maybe a cake. well, not a cake— that's for birthdays. '

that's what you told me as you opened another lollipop to put in your mouth.

december 17. it's a day i don't have to look forward to anymore. i thought i wouldn't regret a single thing i planned out. this day isn't as important as i thought. the things i planned were meaningless. i didn't need to do any of it to be where i wanted to.

home is in your arms.

you've taught me how to love myself again. you showed me how to love others again. i'm finally in a place where i can say i'm okay. it was all thanks to you.

you gave me so many reasons to live— i'll never be more grateful. it's because of you that i know who i am again.

thank you so much, jisung.

i cant wait to live another year with you.