Our New Life

Chapter 28

She watched him through the glass window, he was lying on the infirmary bed with wires engulfing his body. He had been sleeping since last night, probably from the sedatives they gave him. But he was healed much to her relief.

Her own eyes were hurting and sore from crying. Sighing tiredly she walked away after glancing towards his way.

Walking in the living she looked outside, her mind filled with the recent drastic events of her life. Suddenly someone came causing her to turn.

"You should sleep, look like a shit" Damon stood near her. She remained silent and continued staring outside.

"He is going to wake up soon, you would talk to him?" he asked, he wanted her to talk.

y/n nodded, "yes, well there is not much to talk about, he knows everything. But I need to face him."

"And you are thinking about that?"

y/n turned towards him and looked at him, "I am feeling light. Even though that wasn't how I wanted thins to go but still it feels like someone just took one of the burdens off of my chest." she smiled sadly. With a tired smile, he knew there was something else.

He took her hand and made her sit n the couch. "Spill everything honey, I know you too well." y/n sighed, an annoyed sigh.

"I just want to turn it off, I just want to stop feeling," she whispered not looking at him. Damon gritted his teeth, "will you tell me what happened, godamnit."

"I'm tired Damon, tired of chasing people, tired of feeling guilty, responsible. Since the day I became this..." she mentioned towards her as if disgusted by her existence.

"I am continuously running, and now when I finally found her I thought I got to rest. But no." Damon frowned at her words. But before he could ask her she spoke.

"Bucky is alive, all these years he was here. He is the winter soldier, he killed stark. God, Damon they made him a weapon." her words coming out as whispers.

"If only I didn't stop searching about the winter soldier, I could have found bucky" sometimes damn wanted that human y/n back, he wanted to compel her so bad.

"Rather than feeling guilty of the things you can't control, maybe you should focus on now. Maybe think how we are going to find him" his voice was stern, annoyed.

y/n huffed at him before she speaks he cut her off. "Now we have Katherine, the originals can compel her, so we will find him." he was glaring at her, no way in hell he would allow her to turn her switch off. She already had unnecessary guilt on her plate, he wouldn't allow her to feel more.

Suddenly Jarvis announced steve was being discharged and moved to his room. Damon stood up, "we will figure that out but now go to your man. He needs your attention right now." y/n nodded and walked towards the elevator.

"And y/n" she turned, hearing his voice.

"I hope you won't disappoint me" he had the same look that she had for him, years ago. When he was about to kill zack's wife. She knew what he was talking about so she just nodded silently and went towards her captain.

~

y/n knocked on his door but there was no reply. He probably knew who it was. She entered inside anyway, expecting him to be in his bed. But he was standing facing with the window, his back towards her. She sat on the chair in the corner.

"So you want to talk now?" he turned towards her, his words stern. She never heard him talk like that, not with her.

"Yes," she replied with a stoic face as if his tone didn't bother her. You deserve it anyway, she thought.

Steve sighed and walked towards the bed, sitting on the edge. "So talk," he said with the same sternness still with his eyes tender.

"You do know why I was hesitant" her voice timid. Steve bent a bit towards her, "no y/n, I don't know. Tell me. Don't expect me to know everything. " he urged.

She sniffled before speaking, "I wasn't happy with what I became. I was just waiting for taking all the breathes that left and then be gone, after you were gone" steve kept looking at him, his eyes becoming softer at her eyes, but he didn't say anything. He just wanted to listen to her, just wanted to know her feelings about her life, her insecurities.

"I know I should not say this but I was so alone. Everyone was gone, there was no hope. And then suddenly I was dead yet not. I don't know why I choose to be alive, be this-"

"And what is this?" steve cut her off.

y/n sighed, a blood-sucking monster? "A vampire," she replied.

"It wasn't that I never felt happy. I did. I had Damon, I had stark, there are good moments too but I didn't like feeding on blood, even if I don't kill people. I felt there was no purpose for me, I felt like an outsider. That wasn't what I wanted in life, chasing people." she stopped for a moment, thinking about everything she went through.

"I spent all these years finding Katherine. First because of Damon, then because I found out she killed my parents" y/n chuckled dryly.

"And then, when I was so close to her she sent winter soldier to kill stark, which I recently got to know is bucky" she whispered. Her expressions were bitter, a tear escaped her eye.

Steve's eyes widened, he wanted to interrupt but didn't as y/n sighed. "All these years I was into a trap. She planned it all."

"Steve, I didn't like a lot of things about me, being a vampire. There wasn't a purpose for me, except for finding people to avenge the people I love. And suddenly when I saw you coming back, it changed my regret, confusion for choosing this life. I know I should have told you and I was about to but you went away."

"And I didn't want you to know everything as you did. It was the horrible way"

Indeed it was, the moment he watched you getting burned he couldn't breathe. And he couldn't let out her blood-filled eyes from his mind. Her screams, her pain when you were trying to control the urge to feed on him. It was painful for him to see her like that.

"Did you want to feed on me?" he asked, he needed to know your limits, your true self.

"Yes," she simply replied, not scared of what might think. "I was weak, hungry. I didn't want to hurt you but I wanted to..."

Steve nodded looking into her eyes, "and would you, if you got the chance" there was a difference between wanting and doing.

y/n sighed, she didn't know herself. "I don't know steve. Never been in that situation before. but probably yes." At that moment she looked away.

When steve remained silent she stood up, "I probably should go," she said.

"Yes," steve instantly replied. She looked at him but he was staring at the floor. y/n nodded and left.

Steve needed time to process the things he got to know, as if aliens weren't a big shock his lover turned out to be a vampire.

He sighed and lay on the bed. Waiting to fall asleep, as if it was the solution to every problem...
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A/N: hey!! I'm so sorry it took me so long to post I was busy with my finals :') I have finished this story so I'll try to update this every week💕