These Violent Delights Have Violent Ends

Chapter 5: Alone Again

The next few days you spent with constant anxiety. Should you text him? He said it was only for emergencies but... what kind of emergencies would even arise that he would need to help you with? Would you make something up or just try to strike up a casual conversation? Why were you obsessing so much over it?

A few days later you sat on your apartment balcony drinking while mindlessly scrolling on your phone. The alcohol spread a nice warmth throughout your body even though it was cold outside. As you sat there alone, you felt the familiar feeling of loneliness kick in, and even more so, the feeling of missing In-ho.

Why did you have to miss him so much? It was a constant argument with yourself in your head. Logically you shouldn't want him, shouldn't want to be around him, shouldn't be attracted to him. You just couldn't help yourself. You couldn't keep yourself from wanting him, from thinking about him, from touching yourself to the thought of him.

You let out an exasperated sigh, setting down your phone and taking a sip of your drink.

Fuck it.

You grabbed your phone again and went to your messages app. You started typing in his number, which you shamefully memorized already. It was for emergencies, right? You started typing your message but your drunken mind could barely come up with anything to say.

"Hi"

You promptly hit send and all but threw the phone back on the table. You immediately felt embarrassed and stood up, leaning on the balcony. Why did you say something so stupid? You could've come up with something more clever than that, you thought to yourself. You tried not to think about it but couldn't suppress the anxiety in waiting for his response.

After a few minutes, you took your things inside, getting ready for bed. You threw your phone on your bed and went to your closet to change. As you were doing so, you heard the text chime on your phone, prompting you to run to your phone.

"I said to only text me for emergencies. What's going on?"

You sighed, rolling your eyes. You finished getting dressed and crawled into bed.

You: "I might have an emergency"
In-ho: "?"
Y: "I'm sad"
I: "That's not an emergency."
Y: "Well it feels like it"
I: "Are you drinking? Go to sleep."
Y: "Maybe"
I: "Ok. Go to sleep."
Y: "I don't want to"
I: "Then you'll stay sad."
Y: "I'll be sad either way"
I: "You won't be if you're asleep."
Y: "Yes I will. In my dreams"
I: "You won't."
Y: "I'm always sad when you're not here"

You froze. You sent that message without thinking, instantly regretting it. You laid there in shock for a few minutes, unsure if he would respond to you.

I: "Y/n. Go to sleep."
Y: "Ok... goodnight"

You set your phone down and curled up under the blankets. You knew you crossed a line again, closing your eyes and hoping to fall asleep and forget about it.

~~~

In-ho had been unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep that night when he heard his phone chime from a text. Reaching for it in bed, he noticed it was from you. He instantly became alert, expecting you to have an emergency.

"Hi"

He sighed. He immediately knew you were probably drunk, texting him at this hour. Although he'd never admit it to himself, he slightly wished you'd text him outside of emergencies. But, he wanted to be sure, so he asked if you were okay.

After it was clear you were fine, his heart dropped seeing your "I'm sad" text. He understood the feeling all too well lately. He knew you were drunk, so he tried to convince you to go to sleep. But when you sent "I'm always sad when you're not here," he couldn't find the right words to respond.