Another Look

Chapter 7

Three months later Rory sat at the bottom of the stairs, a baby monitor in her lap, as she picked up her phone to call Paris.

"Paris, I need your help," she said plainly with a little tremble in her voice.

"Rory, good to hear from you. Sure, what can I do?" Paris asked. She hadn't spoken to her in a couple of months, work had been crazy, and Rory hadn't really gotten in touch after the time she went over to meet Leah. She'd figured she was busy, Paris knew how the first couple of months could be.

"Can you find me someone, someone I can talk to, or to prescribe me something? I don't think this is normal. All I seem to want is for her to go to sleep," Rory teared up.

"I can. Have you told anybody else how you feel? Lorelai? Finn?" she inquired.

"I guess they have an idea that things are a bit off, but no," she wept, whipping her nose into her sleeve.

"Where is she now?" Paris asked carefully.

"Upstairs, asleep," she replied.

"Rory, listen to me. You just did the best thing possible for both you and Leah, you asked for help. And you will get it. I will make sure of that. Now, just take a deep breath, and another one," she breathed with her for a few seconds. "Now, go make some coffee. I will be around shortly," Paris instructed.

Rory had been glad to see her newborn the first time, after all her presence meant that labor was over and she was no longer pregnant. Those alone were a relief. What came next was milder than she had expected - Leah was adorable, but she didn't fall for her like she'd read in books or heard her friends speak. She'd spend days with her trying to get her to breastfeed, even with the help of the specialist, it just never clicked, leaving Rory hurt both physically and mentally as if she was failing her. While this meant that Finn and occasionally Lorelai could take a shift or two, allowing her to get some rest. The problem was that she couldn't read her signs - she didn't understand from her whimpering when Leah was hungry, tired or just wanted to be held, which felt like all the time, leaving Rory guessing each time what does she want now? She woke up in the morning to Leah's cries looking forward to the next time she would take a nap, that time seemed always too far away.

***

"Finn, Rory asked for my help. I have no doubt that what she described to me is PPD," Paris stated at the kitchen counter, while Rory was feeding Leah in the other room.

"You're sure?" he asked doubtfully, "I thought she was just tired, we all are," he added.

"I found her a specialist, she can go see her as early as the day after tomorrow. Here are her contacts. Your job is to make sure she gets there," Paris instructed, sending him the contacts at the same time.

"Ofcourse," he nodded, taking Paris' word for it. He thought back to the previous months and while he had noticed Rory being more distant and tired, he'd figured it was just a part of normal adjustment to her new life as a mother. He felt bad for not being around enough, not enough to notice.

"You should find a specialist nanny who focuses on cases like this, I know she doesn't like the idea, but I think it'll do her good. She can maybe start taking baby-step with her book tour or something soon. She needs to realize that wanting to do other things does not make her a bad mother. Both the nanny and the psychologist can work on ways to get them bonding better," Paris continued to lecture.

"I'll try to talk to her about the nanny, I've offered before...," Finn said hesitantly.

"And you, you need to make sure that you are not going to run when it gets rough, she can't handle that right now. This is not going to get better over night," she added on a lowered voice.