The Debt of Guilt [BxB]

26: before

August
1989

Peter and Danny were okay. They always were. It took some time; some tension, some silence, some space. But they were okay. They came back to each other, smiling and laughing and full of life. They didn't talk about Scott when they were together; they pretended that none of it was real. That they were the same as they always had been. And when night fell, Danny would go from one brother to the next. Only, he didn't climb through windows anymore, but walked through Scott's bedroom door shamelessly.

But Peter and Scott were not okay. They weren't anything really. The time they spent together was full of silence and dodged eye contact. Because they were brothers, and brothers didn't talk about this sort of thing. They never had and they weren't sure they ever would. They didn't know how.

It was August when Peter finally decided that the silence had gotten too loud. Their Mother was working and Scott had just gotten home from the bakery, pulling a loaf of bread and a couple of stale bagels out of his backpack. Peter was perched on the kitchen counter, his nose in a book, a mug of tea in his hand, "Hey." He murmured.

"Hi." Scott said quietly.

"Jen's at a scan with Danny." Peter said, placing his book down, "They won't be back for a little while."

Scott's eyes flicked up to meet Peter's, "Okay." He replied hesitantly.

"It's just us here." Peter pressed on, and when Scott looked back at him in confusion, he groaned, "Jesus, Scott, I'm trying to talk to you."

Scott frowned, "Why?"

"Why?" Peter echoed, "Because you haven't said more than two words to me since my birthday."

"Been busy." Scott shrugged noncommittally.

"I know you have." Peter scoffed.

Scott gulped nervously but didn't say anything. He wasn't taking the bait.

"I'm okay with it, y'know?"

"I know."

"So, why are you being so fucking difficult?" Peter was always quick to lose his temper. He tried to contain it, but sometimes it was all a bit much, bubbling away under the surface until he exploded.

"I don't wanna talk about this-"

"God, you sound just like him. You two are fucking perfect together-"

"I don't know what you want from me, Peter!"

"I want my brother back!"

Scott looked at him blankly, his lower lip caught between his teeth. He knew that he hadn't been a good brother recently; knew that he'd been too quiet and too distant. But there were some things that were hard to keep inside but even harder to say out loud. "I'm sorry." He murmured.

Peter sighed heavily, his eyes falling shut as he tried to compose himself, "He says he loves you." He breathed out, "Is that true?"

"Yes." Scott responded honestly.

"And you?" Peter pushed, "You love him back?"

Scott nodded, "Yeah. I do."

"In the same sappy, all-consuming way that he loves you?"

Scott frowned, "He said that?"

"Not in so many words, but yes."

He smiled softly, "Yeah. In the same sappy, all-consuming way."

Peter finally cracked a smile, "And does this mean you're gay?"

"Yes."

"Huh." Peter mused thoughtfully.