The Debt of Guilt [BxB]

33: after

May
1995

Peter sat on the edge of Danny's king size bed, flicking through the pile of magazines Andrea had given him. Danny was on the cover of most of them and Peter was with him on half of them.

'Daniel Fox Defends Murderer'

'Daniel Fox - Not Hollywood's Golden Boy After All?'

'Daniel Fox Stands By Criminal Friend'

'Daniel Fox - Guilty Or Innocent?'

They used the same photo of Peter every time; his mugshot. All bloodshot eyes, red cheeks, scruffy hair and a frightened expression. It had to be the least flattering photo of him in existence, and plastered next to Danny's face, glowing and happy and handsome, he just looked terrible.

He glanced up from the magazine he was flicking through when Danny entered the room, dressed in a smart tuxedo, hair carelessly rugged, curls dipping into his bright green eyes. He smiled at Peter, doing a little twirl, "What d'you think?"

Peter tossed the magazine aside, "You look fine."

"Fine?" Danny snorted, "I can't just look fine, I need to look fucking fantastic. This is my first public appearance since that awful interview-"

"You look good, Danny." Peter rolled his eyes, "And stood next to Neve Olson, no one will even look at you."

Danny groaned, "Yeah, well, unlike Neve, I've made a pretty big fool of myself recently. I have a feeling a lot of people will be looking at me."

"I can't believe she agreed to be your red carpet date, after all the shit the media has been saying about you."

He shrugged, fiddling with his cufflinks, "She's got her own rumours she wants to shake. Everyone thinks she's dating Jared Leto."

Peter couldn't see how that was any worse than everyone thinking she was dating Danny, the actor now known for befriending murderers. But he didn't bother disputing this. He didn't have the energy.

"God, I hate red carpets." Danny groaned, sounding very much like a stubborn child, "And I play the fucking lead role in this movie; I'm not gonna get a moment of peace all night."

"Aw, poor you." Peter drawled sarcastically.

Danny collapsed onto the bed beside him, "What are you up to tonight?"

"Seeing a friend."

Danny's brows shot up, "What friend? You don't have any friends."

Peter rolled his eyes, shuffling closer to the edge of the bed, "Thanks for that."

"Who are you seeing?" Danny pressed with a little more urgency.

"A friend." Peter grumbled.

"And how do you know this friend?"

"Jesus, Danny-"

"You need to be careful." Danny said firmly, "They could be trying to get information out of you or trying to get close to me or-"

"Not everything is about you." Peter snapped, throwing one of the magazines at Danny's face in anger.

Danny screwed up the magazine and dropped it on the floor, "Do you even know this person-?"

"Yes." Peter hissed, "His name is Roy, he's from Idaho, and he works at a coffee shop in Downtown LA."

"I don't know about this-"

"Well, it's a good thing it has nothing to do with you then-"

"I knew I should've made you sign that NDA." Danny murmured under his breath bitterly. "What have you told him?"

Peter stood up, his fingers combing through his hair, "Nothing, Danny, for fuck sake!"

Danny stood up too, taking a deep breath, and stuffing his hands into his pockets, "Fine."

"Fine."

When Peter got back to his motel room that night, he pulled the tattered folder out from under the bed, and began rifling through it. He didn't like to think about what Danny was doing right now; probably sat in a limo, Neve Olson in a gorgeous dress next to him, about to enter the premiere of his new movie. He just hoped that Danny would follow Andrea's advice this time and not talk to any reporters about anything other than the movie. Though if Danny does a line of coke in the car ride there - as Peter is sure is likely - there's no telling what he might do.

Peter pulled out another photo from Jenifer. It was her and Hannah, both rosy cheeked and smiling, a rope of tinsel wrapped around the pair.

Christmas 1993

Merry Christmas, Danny!

I had a crazy Christmas. I was counting on it just being me and Hannah again this year but in a moment of madness I wrote to Scott and invited him and Susie here. I hadn't seen them in so long. They drove up on Christmas Eve and stayed for a couple of nights. Susie made those amazing roast potatoes. You know the ones. Anyway, I'm sorry if you would rather I didn't bring them up. I know it must be hard for you.

Scott's doing good, you know? He's dating a primary school teacher, got himself a flat in a London, a dog too. He brought the dog up with him actually - some great big mutt that Hannah fell in love with. Think I may have to get her a puppy now.

Anyway I'm sorry if you would rather not hear about any of this. Just thought you might like to know that he was doing well. He's happy. And you are too. So, I guess it's all worked out in the end, hasn't it?

Anyway, I really do miss you Danny. The presents you send Hannah are lovely but I'd rather hear your voice. Can you leave a number for me to call or at least write back at some point?

Lots of love,
Jen & Hannah

Peter looked at the photo again and wondered whether Scott had been the one to take it. Or maybe his Mother had.

They never told him they had spent that Christmas with Jenifer. There was a lot of things they didn't tell Peter when he was locked up. He supposed that they wanted to save him the pain of missing out on the real world. Watching it all pass him by while he spent too many Christmases in the prison canteen, eating soggy Yorkshire puddings and crying himself to sleep. He wished they had told him at the time. It would've made him happy, in a sort of bittersweet way, knowing that his Mum and brother were spending Christmas in Wales with his childhood best friend and her little bright eyed toddler.

He liked to imagine them all draped in fairy lights and tinsel, listening to the radio and drinking red wine and baileys. Hannah playing with Scott's dog, his Mother teaching Jenifer how she makes her special roast potatoes, Scott telling them all about his new boyfriend. He imagined them all piled into Jenifer's little stone cottage, surrounded by mountains and clouds, their warmth radiating out of the house. Maybe they played board games and assembled cheese boards together. Maybe they watched old Christmas films and Scott read Hannah a bedtime story. Maybe they reminisced about old stories of Peter and Danny or maybe that was far too painful for everyone.

He wondered how Danny had felt, reading Jenifer's letter for the first time. If Peter had learnt anything from coming to LA it was that Danny was still very much in love with Scott. Hearing that he had a new boyfriend must have broken him. Maybe he cried or had a temper tantrum or drowned his sorrows with alcohol and drugs.

Danny probably spent that Christmas alone, just like Peter had.

In fact, Danny had probably spent as many Christmases alone as Peter had spent in prison.

He slipped the photo back into the folder, glanced at his watch, and realised it was time to get ready for his date with Roy.