The Debt of Guilt [BxB]

30: before

September
1989

The week that Peter and Scott went back to school had Danny restless. He threw himself into drama, trying to focus on learning lines so as not to realise how bored and lonely he was. He also applied for countless jobs, though had yet to hear back from a single one. For the most part, he hung out with Jenifer, who was just as bored as him. They occupied themselves in a few ways; they roamed through the woods on the outskirts of town, soaking up the last of the season's sunshine, sometimes they visited Scott at the bakery in the afternoons and occasionally snuck into the cinema on the days when they were especially bored.

"I hate them being gone all day." Danny groaned. He was sprawled out across the sofa while Jenifer lay on her back on the floor, hands circling her bulging belly. They were the only ones in the trailer; the boys were at school and their Mother was at work. Danny and Jenifer essentially lived there now; they even had their own keys.

"You're like a sexually frustrated housewife." Jenifer teased.

Danny snorted, "I'm anything but sexually frustrated."

She tilted her head to look up at him, "He's decent in bed then?"

Danny laughed, "Not sure that Scott would want us discussing this."

She shrugged, looking back up at the ceiling blankly, "He's good for you."

"Yeah?"

"He makes you happy."

"Very much so."

"I can tell." She smiled softly, "It's nice, watching the two of you together. Means there's hope for the rest of us, y'know?"

"You in the market for love, Jen?"

She sighed deeply, "Maybe someday. In the very, very, very distant future." She told him, "Maybe when this kid leaves for uni."

"High hopes for the little thing then?"

"Oh, yeah." She nodded enthusiastically, "This kid's gonna be the best. Intelligent and athletic and attractive. Maybe not quite as attractive as their Mother, but that's what happens when you have to live up to the impossible."

"Poor thing." Danny cooed, "Subject to a life of living in your shadow. Should've aborted the thing to save it the misery."

"Oi." She quipped back, a smile playing on her face, "You're talking about the future Prime Minister."

"God, if your child ever goes into politics-"

"Yeah, to be fair." She agreed with a chuckle, "If they become the Prime Minister, I will be regretting my decision to not abort the thing."

"You're gonna be a great Mum." He scoffed teasingly. But the truth was, she would be a great Mum. Because she had enough love for the child to make up for the rest of it. For the lack of money or maturity or place to live. As long as she continued loving her child, everything else would fall into place, Danny was sure of it.

She continued rubbing her stomach, sighing sadly, "God, I'm so stressed out right now, Danny." She said, her voice far more grave. "Where the fuck am I gonna live?"

"Here." He said without missing a beat.

She didn't say anything for a moment, and then, "I can't. There's barely enough room for me here, let alone for an extra human. No one's gonna want a screaming baby around anyway."

"Well, you're not going back there." He said firmly, "Whatever happens-"

"I might not have a choice, Danny-"

"We'll figure something out." He met her eyes, face full of pleading. "After you have this kid, won't you qualify for child benefits or some shit like that?"

"I don't know." She grumbled, "I think so."

"Well, there you go. That, plus the money from my job-"

"You don't have a job."

"I will, soon." He promised, "We can get a flat together. Peter can come too, if he likes. We'll all raise the baby together."

She smiled, wishing she could believe the promises Danny so often fed to her, "This kid doesn't have a Dad, but you and Pete are gonna make the best uncles."

"This kid is gonna be so loved." He said, knowing that it was true because they hadn't even been born yet and they already were. Danny wondered what his childhood would have been like if he had been surrounded by even half the amount of love that existed in this trailer. No icy stares and cold fists. No silence and lonely nights. Just laughter and chaos and mess and love. Maybe he would be a different person today.

They glanced up when Peter came stumbling through the front door, wide eyed, pink in the cheeks, blood on his hands, "It's Scott." He choked out breathlessly. "I-It's Scott. He's...He..."

Danny jumped out his seat, crossing the room, hands instinctively gripping onto Peter's shoulders, "What is it? What happened?" He asked desperately, his heart already pounding loudly in his ears, pulse racing, palms sweating.

"Hospital." Was all Peter managed, "He's in the... He..." He couldn't get his words out, eyes filling with tears, lip caught between his teeth.

Jenifer was at his side, wrapping him in a side hug, her head on his shoulder, "It's alright." She murmured softly, "What is it, Pete?"

"He was attacked."

"What?" Danny demanded, and the ringing in his ears was so loud, he didn't even know if he had said the word out loud. Fear was clawing at his chest and arms, heat rising across his skin, his lungs shrinking as he fought for breath. "I-Is he...?" He gulped, "He's okay?"

Peter nodded, but it was hesitant and based off of the tears in his eyes, not very convincing. "It was Snowy. Snowy and some of the other rugby boys." He tried to keep his voice steady, tried not to break down, not to fall apart. "They cornered him outside the bakery. I-I went to find Scott, to borrow his keys-left mine here-and I...I..." He looked down at his hands, at his brother's blood beneath his fingernails, "He's in a bad way."

Jenifer tightened her grip around him, "Fuck, Pete, I'm sorry-"

"He wants you there." Peter told Danny, "Mum's with him now, but he wants you."

"You walked here from the hospital?" Jenifer asked gently.

"Ran." Peter corrected. "You need to go."

Danny nodded, feeling entirely detached from his own body, "You coming back with me?"

He shook his head, "He told me not to." He admitted, "Said I'd done enough, he doesn't..." He couldn't finish any sentences right now, "I don't think he wants anyone there. Not me, not Mum. Just you."

Danny wrapped Peter up in a tight hug, burying his face in his hair and squeezing him like a teddy bear, "Thank you." He murmured, voice shaking when he pulled away.

He didn't wait around any longer, pulling on his jacket and heading out the trailer. He wondered if this was what love really felt like; not sunshine on lakes and happy wet kisses. But pain and fear and anger.