The Debt of Guilt [BxB]

34: before

September
1989

Following the attack, Scott had to take a week off of school, and while he hated it, Danny very much loved it. He had his boyfriend all to himself, and took a kind of selfish twisted pleasure in taking care of him - Danny cooked for him, made sure he took his meds at the right time every day, and even read to him when Scott was too tired to even pick up a book himself.

Scott spent his days curled up next to Danny, sleepy and spaced out from all the pain meds. He was bored and restless, but also happy and lazy. It was a new routine which wasn't all bad. Jenifer was there too, offering comfort and laugher, just like always. She would stroke Scott's hair when he fell asleep on the sofa while Danny made them all lunch in the kitchen. All in all, the house was full of softness these days. At least, until Peter would get home in the afternoons, loud and complaining and full of curses.

"It's two o'clock." Danny hummed in Scott's ear. They were tangled up in bed, Scott laying between Danny's legs, his back pressed to Danny's chest.

"Okay." Scott murmured sleepily, trying to focus on the book in his hand.

Danny reached over to the nightstand, trying not to shift them out of their comfortable position as he grabbed a packet of tablets. He took two out of the plastic and held them out for Scott. When Scott didn't take them, Danny ran his thumb along Scott's lower lip, gently prying his mouth open and slipping the pills inside. Scott grumbled quietly in annoyance but swallowed either way, earning himself a kiss on the temple from Danny.

"What are you reading?" Danny murmured, voice muffled by Scott's thick curls.

"Descartes." Scott replied, showing Danny the cover of the book. "I'm thinking about a philosophy degree."

Danny knew this, of course. Though he realised he had never asked why. "What do you like about philosophy?"

"I don't know; all of it?" Scott curled up closer to Danny, enjoying his position between Danny's legs, his back resting on Danny's chest, just where his heart was. "Morality is so subjective; we all live by our own idea of what's right or wrong. There's no correct answer, just theories, and we're all entitled to our own. I guess that's what I like about it."

Danny loved listening to Scott talk. He could do it for hours. Just listening to his voice, the softness in it, the passion in it. "You're gonna be great one day."

Scott chuckled, "You think?"

"Oh, yeah." Danny brushed his fingers through Scott's hair, "You're already there; smart and kind and lovely. Once you get out into the real world, you'll be unstoppable."

Scott smiled sweetly, "I don't like the idea of the real world very much."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"I prefer this world." He sighed contentedly, "I don't know what world we're living in now, but it sure as fuck doesn't feel like the real one." It was too perfect to be real. It was all dream, it had to be.

Scott wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, tugging him closer, pressing him against his beating heart, "You never told me about your fantasy." He whispered dulcetly.

Scott placed his book back onto his nightstand, relaxing into Danny's embrace, "A flat. Not much bigger than this trailer." He said simply. "In London. Where there's lots of noise and pollution and strangers." It sounded pathetic when he said it out loud, how small his dreams were, but it was all he wanted. All he had ever wanted.

"Why the city?" Danny pressed.

"You're just a person in the city. Just another face, another human." He said bleakly, "I'm not Scott Wicks there. Not the kid from the trailer park, not the guy who works at the bakery, not the faggot, the queer, the-"