Never Saw This Coming

Closer Than We Thought.

Xander

I wait for Maddy's reply.

I know she and Max have been friends for a while but I wonder how much of her he actually knows. More than me? Yeah, most likely. I mean she's just about to —hopefully— explain to me how her sister, or cousin, knows Max. I just always thought she was a closed book. I guess she's really not which I don't completely dislike. I like getting to know the deeper parts of her. What makes Maddy, Maddy. I guess I'm about to — again, hopefully— find out a small part of that.

"Last year, sophomore year, my mom and dad made me come home for Thanksgiving break and I didn't want to go alone, so Max came with me. He met my parents and cousin there. She followed him on Instagram on our way back, so she's had him on there for a while now," she explains to me. I nod, taking everything in. "So this sister, cousin, you don't like her?" I'd never push Maddy to tell me something but sometimes I just want more out of her. Once you actually get to know her, like I'm doing now, you'll realize that she's a woman of very few words.

I always thought she was this conceited brat, but she's far from that. She absolutely hates talking about herself whether it's good or bad. Because of this, it's hard to keep conversations with her. I've been trying to get to know her without making it too obvious. Sometimes she gives me what I want, other times she doesn't. I think she picks and chooses who she wants to get closer to. With Maddy, you're either her friend — me, I think— or her friend —Max. No in-between.

I want what she has with Max, on the friendship level. Possibly more. I don't fucking know.

She tucks a strand of her raven hair behind her ear, playing with the cloth of my sweatpants. She's extremely beautiful. "No," she says "she's a bitch." I want to say and you're not? But I decided that maybe that would kill what we have. I don't know the person she's talking about after all and I don't want to overlook her trauma.

"When my parents adopted her from my aunt, I got so excited because I never had the chance to have a sister. We weren't really that close because she lived in Wisconsin so when she came to Texas I tried so hard to be nice and make her comfortable. Then I noticed the immediate interest my parents took in her. They treated her so well and just like that, I was pushed to the background like always. I was jealous of her but I still tried to be something to her," she looks at me "I told her how lucky she was that my parents actually gave her attention because they never did to me and she laughed in my face."

Fuck.

Maddy laughs a bit, not a happy one. "She would tell me that it wasn't her fault I decided not to get along with my parents and that maybe if I did, they would like me as much as they liked her. Like she really had the nerve to tell me that." She glares at me, but her look is always as icy. She's not mad at me, only at thought she's recalling. "She's fucking horrible, just like my miserable parents and I'm starting to think she's their actual daughter and not me. I was never as big of a bitch as I am now until I started realizing that no one, including the two closest people to me, give a fuck about me," she rants.

I shake my head. "That's not true, Maddy." She rolls her eyes. "I didn't know Max or Pey or Nat back then, so yeah, it was true. I had to act like I didn't give a fuck so much that I started forgetting who to not be a bitch too." She winces slightly, face-palming herself. She looks back at me. "I was a bitch to my fucking teachers, Xander. And most of them were old people. I was mean to old people!" she says, her voice a little louder. I don't think she notices how loud she's being but I don't tell her. It's fine if Rhys hears her because he knows about her. I told him she was coming over tonight.

My lips pull into a smile and she immediately flips me off. My lips downturn again, not wanting to make fun of her. I'm not, but that last sentence was a bit funny. "I've never felt an ounce of love in my whole life. My parents took that from me and I came into college and met people who are some of the best people I've ever known. I actually just realized tonight that I'm capable of love because I love Max," she says. I furrow my brows slightly. Is she about to end things with me? That's what this is right? She's in love with Max, God I should've seen this coming. I nod slowly.