Never Saw This Coming

I'll Be Here.

Xander
TW: suic*de attempt mention

I carry up a full three bags as I walk up the hall to the dorms. The building full of dorms has an elevator, but I prefer taking the stairs. I've been skipping the gym for the past couple of days anyway. When I finally make it back to the dorm, I knock quietly on the door. I wait a full minute before a messy-haired redhead opens the door. I smile at her face, she looks miserable. She flips me off and walks back inside the dorm. I close the door quietly behind me and set the bags down on the small dresser.

"Did you fall back to sleep?" I ask her. She climbs back onto her bed and covers herself up. She doesn't lay back down though. "No, I waited for you to come back. I would've never woken up if I went back to bed," Natasha tells me. When I came over to the dorms earlier to talk to Maddy, I knew I'd be met with her roommate. I knew Maddy worked today so I didn't actually expect her to be home, so I don't know why I came.

Natasha looked confused when she saw me. Although we are friends, we don't casually hang out alone. She has a boyfriend after all. Also, everyone thinks Maddy and I hate each other — or thought —so she didn't expect to see me at her dorm. Still, I asked if I could come in and she let me. When I noticed Maddy passed out in her bed, she filled me in on their night out last night. She told me how moody she'd been in the last couple of days which I'm not gonna lie, made me smile. I'm glad you've been just as miserable as me, Maddy.

I asked her if she knew about us — Maddy and me. Yesterday, Rhys was the one who told me that Cgc brought up the whole thing at the dinner they went to, so Maddy found out that they knew. I figured she would tell Natasha, but the redhead was confused when I brought it up to her. I explained to her what happened between us and she was as shocked as everyone else who has found out so far. I told her I came over knowing Maddy would probably be at work. I don't know why my car just led me back here earlier when I was driving back home from picking up a coffee.

I told her that she'd never see me again, but there happened to be some things that I haven't gotten off my chest. I didn't get that closure that I wanted which I think would be best for me in this situation. That's why I'm here.

Since Maddy was still asleep, I told Natasha I'd drive out to the store and buy them a couple of things. I don't know her as well as I know Maddy, so she texted me a list of things to get her. I've grown to know a couple of things about the raven-haired girl I'm disappointedly in love with, so there wasn't any trouble shopping for her.

I toss Natasha the ice cream she wanted and the blue Gatorade I bought for her. She didn't ask for it but I bought them both a couple anyway. "Thanks, Xan. You can stay until she wakes up if you want, I'm gonna put on a movie," Nat says. I nod my head as she begins to pull out her laptop. Instead of staying on the spinning chair, I find my way onto Maddy's bed. The bed is twin-sized so it's smaller, but she always weirdly sleeps completely on one side of the bed, never the middle.

I sit next to her, waiting for her to wake up. She won't wake up for a good while since she got super drunk last night. Nat's words. I can't hear the movie she's watching since she plugged her headphones in but I can see she's watching it from Netflix. I can never sit through movies, so I probably have never seen it.

I move some of Maddy's hair from her face, but she doesn't budge. "I never thought I'd say this, but you guys are adorable." I look up at Nat's voice. She's looking at Maddy and me. I chuckle, "Don't get used to it. This one right here hates me." It's what she told me a couple of nights ago. I hope it's not true. "Biggest lie of 2021, calling it!" Nat says, pointing a finger at me. My smile grows. Let's hope she's right.

It isn't until thirty minutes later that Maddy starts to slowly wake up. Natasha just knocked out again like ten minutes ago. I lay down completely on Maddy's bed and wrap an arm around her waist and spoon her from behind. I know the consequences of this. She might push me off the bed completely, but I'll take it. As long as I get to hold her one more time before she does it. She makes inaudible noises and then goes stiff. My head peaks slightly over hers, so I can see her face. Her eyes are still closed. "Nat, leave me alone," she says, her morning voice the cutest thing I've ever heard.