So it is done

The one you see in the mirror

There are many phobias in the world. There are silly ones, ordinary ones, rare, and even some that are 'interesting' in the Chinese sense. Usually, people are afraid of what they don't understand or what they don't know; insects, reptiles, viruses, bacteria, robots, demons to list a few. Of course there are phobias that are simply common sense survival instincts like fear of heights or the dark. There are as many phobias as there are 'things' that people can fear. And one of the most normal fears out there is the fear of other people.

Humans are the hardest things to 'understand' in existence. Therefore, it is natural that humans are very afraid of their fellow humans.

Magicians, the ascended, the highest caste of humanity are also part of that dynamic. They had cast aside the Sleepers' superstitions and weaknesses to see the Tellurian as it was,

but they didn't stop being human just from that. It would take a lot more than the ability to mold reality as you see fit to stop being 'human'. Magicians, the Awakened, do not lose their weaknesses, fears, aspirations and desires when they part ways from the Sleepers.

Jonathan for example was afraid of mirrors. Though if you know what he knows about mirrors, then you would feel the same way as well. Is what he would tell you if you were to ask, hiding an embarrassing secret.

He was afraid of mirrors not in the sense that he was afraid of the mirrors themselves, afraid of polished metals or objects with reflective surfaces applied to them. Jonathan was not one of those who would freeze in panic when their sight pass over a mirror. And he was not afraid of mirrors because he was once cursed by someone from the inhabitants of Speculum Orbis Terrarum.

It was simply an ordinary fear from childhood, an irrational fear borne out of immaturity. People do fear what they don't understand after all, and for the immature Jonathan, a mirror was something truly alien.

Foolish childhood fears permeated the minds of people. Superstitions and delusions from the very beginning of their lives plagues everyone, as it did to Jonathan in the distant past.

Jonathan was afraid that one day he would look in a mirror and not see his figure reflected.

Jonathan was not afraid of the curse one could cast from the other side of the mirror, nor did he fear imagining that another person would smile at him from inside the mirror. As the Order of Hermes loved mirrors as it was used for communication and observation, Jonathan got used to the last part quite quickly.

He was afraid to one day see in a mirror the Jonathan Goodman that he was not.

And so Jonathan, looking in the mirror, always asked himself the same question - who does he see in front of him? Would he see Jonathan Goodman, the son of an old man, a young Adept, a hopeful follower of Ars Unitatis?

Jonathan could have ditched Cinder to her fate. Logically speaking, it would even be the smart thing to do. Survival, convenience of life, and efficiency of action were things that were held in high esteem in the Order. As a part of that culture for the better part of his life, it was a creed that he was very familiar with.

But, having found a base for himself, even if only a tentative one. With bountiful tass in hand, it was only a matter of time of him acquiring a suitable standard of living as an Adept of the Order of Hermes. But, if he were to abandon Cinder now, when he looks in the mirror in the future, who would Jonathan see looking back?

He would see a Jonathan, but not himself. A Jonathan who had the opportunity to make the world better, even if just a little, even for just for one person, and chose not to do so. A Jonathan that did not save Cinder, who said nothing in her defense, A Jonathan that had run away, abandoned a person he could have easily helped. He wasn't sure that he liked that image.