So it is done

Chapter X

Cinder was not particularly worried about meeting Nora.

As any logic-driven person would do, she saw nothing special in meeting her new acquaintance and mentee. There was no logical reason to worry about it, Nora had no way of refusing her mentorship or resisting her influence, and Jonathan approved of her actions. So, even if Nora refuses, she just has to 'convince' her.

At least what Jonathan did counted as 'approval'

After spending years living together with Jonathan, Cinder could understand his inner workings quite well. So Cinder knew that he wasn't exactly 'happy' with the decision, but neither is he repulsed by it either. Rather, he just needed some time to think and internally discuss this decision, to have yet another mental dialogue.

Cinder wanted Jonathan, in his moments of doubt and reflection, to also turn to her for her advice and opinion, but she was also aware that in this particular event, he naturally could not discuss such things with her. Conflict of interest and all that.

Jonathan just required some time, there's no need for Cinder to do anything.

In any case, there was no logical reason for Cinder to worry about what had happened and the meeting with Nora that Jonathan had allowed, it could in no way go negatively and end in failure. Likewise, there's no reason for Jonathan to be troubled by the outcome of this conversation, neither mentally nor physically, and so Cinder really has no reason to worry. She had no logical reason to be. She shouldn't have been worried at all!

"Why are my palms sweating so much! This has never happened before!" Cinder shouldn't have been worried, and yet she was.

She hadn't lied to Jonathan about the reason she wanted Nora, or more precisely the possibility of raising her, as her gift. She wouldn't even dream of lying to Jonathan or hide the truth. Maybe she skirted around some of the precise wording of her reasoning, but Jonathan caught Cinder's way of thinking perfectly well without needing to say it. There was no need to make him feel bad about reminding him of certain... thought patterns of Cinder that Jonathan himself saw as negative.

That was most likely the reason why Cinder was nervous.

She had built up many contacts with all sorts of people before, so what's wrong with one more? Jonathan had not been involved in all the previous ones. Whereas now, he had actually sanctioned her actions, and even promised to monitor their outcome. That's all the difference, and yet it was enough.

Up until this point, Cinder would see Neo worried about an impending test, and she would always scoff at it. After all, she's been prepared enough for the test, so why worry? But, to Cinder's logical remark that Neo couldn't have any significant problems with the test, she only got the inarticulate reply of 'I'm still worried'. Cinder herself never understood why Neo had such an illogical reaction... Until now that is.

"What if I screw up?" Cinder couldn't even think of a reason why she might fail such a simple assignment, but her thoughts kept coming back to that question anyway. And, no matter how rightly Cinder could think of a logical counter-argument, it still wasn't enough to calm herself down.

That was why, staying in a sort of waiting room in the orphanage, Cinder could not sit still to spend her time more fruitfully, like reading a book, but continued to pace the rather large room. From one end of the room to the other, she kept pacing around, trying to quiet her mind with reflection, only to return to the same worry each time.

Cinder wasn't even sure how long she had done so, before her scroll alerted her to the fact that Jonathan was not planning to come back home until later that evening. If only to make the situation worse for Cinder, the alert also coincided with the psychologist leaving his office, with their attention squarely on Cinder.